Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Numb

I wish I can be numb

numb to all negative reactions
numb from getting hurt
numb to any rejections
numb from being misjudged
numb to all the pain in the world
numb from getting heart-broken
numb to all hurtful words

at the end of the day
I'm just human
with feelings
and tears that came along

I may appeared numb to you
but deep in me,
I'm falling apart
into pieces

as I forced myself to be numb,
those pieces became even more little pieces

I'm afraid,
comes one day
there are no little pieces left to be shredded
and when it happens,
there' nothing left,
except to bid, Goodbye.



p/s: calar di lengan, orang tahu, calar di hati....simpan sendiri.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Of 2 months

dh lambat
dh nk masuk 3 months pon
tp bende ni mmg dh lama dlm draft
cume ntah nape, x siap²

*************************************

dear my child, Nurin Balqis Mohd Afiq,
as u turned 2 months,


  • u sleep better on ur tummy. Initially we planned to let u sleep on ur tummy only during ur day naps, n on ur back at night. However u tends to get startled very easily while u sleep on ur back. to swaddle u up is not even a choice, as u'll get mad once we tied u up.


    • u can turn ur head to left and right while sleeping. sometimes, u even kept on turning ur head left n right several times when we put u down to sleep, before u eventually find a (nice) spot to land ur chubby cheek on. and mama find this particular habit of urs, very cute!
    • u went bald at 1m7d. we kept procrastinating on this particular thing as we're all afraid that it'll hurt u. and mama worried that u'll look 'weird' with a bald head. but boy, i was wrong! u looked even much cuter aftermath!
    • before
      after
    • u started to coo!!! Allah knows how long I've been waiting for this moment to arrive. it may not even sound like any words that we could find in the dictionary, but it sure landed on the soft spot in mama's heart. However, u did not coo too many times. just when u felt to do so. and I'm honoured to be the first to witnessed it
    • u can now bare ur weight with ur two strong legs, each time we held u upright. Sometimes u get furious when we put u down, and calmed when we let u stand (with us holding u upright)
    • u've been loving ur bathing time since u were born, darling. u kicked and slapped ur cute little arms profusely while in the tub filled with lukewarm water. btw, u hate tap water! u'll scream on top of ur lungs when i tried to bath u with normal temp water.
    • u now love being clothes-less. everytime before bath time, I let u get loose with only ur diaper on. u no more cried each time we undress/dressed u up.

    • u can now coordinate sound. u'll turn to the direction where the sound came from. we love to entertain u with the sound of the rattle. however, after 2 minutes, it seems like we're entertaining ourselves as u already got bored by then.
    • ur sight is still pretty much blurry. we never got tired of testing ur sight everyday by moving certain object in front of u. u usually just stared blankly to whatever u're looking at. i guess at this stage, u react more to sounds.
    • u have this particular (cute) reaction everytime u pooped! u'll 'kembangkan' ur nose and grin (with lips shut together) on each attempt of pushing out ur stool. those reactions are certainly too cute that I never failed to laugh. and dear, once u're done, u'll be 'tersandar kelegaan'...hihihi
    • ur 'meneran' face! lol!!!!
    • ur daily activities and nap scheduled vary from day to day. and yeah baby, u still wakes up 2 hourly at night for milk and sometimes to poop.
    • unfortunately, u have colic on some days...about twice a week. and when u had one, u cried like nobody's business till u went all red and it hurts me so to see u suffer. sometimes u totally refuse milk, while most of the time, u kept on sucking each time I try to feed u. til u got overdose. and u vomitted it out. there was one time, it was too much, that it even cam out of ur nostril. pity baby. I found out that the yuyi ointment is not good enough for u. Minyak Herba NR works better.

    • I'm sorry dear, but as for now, u're still pretty much relying on FM...u'd love to df from mama, but sometimes, the pain is way beyond my threshold that I gave up (I'm sorry). If there are ebm in the fridge, we'll feed u with those. or else, FM it is. :(
    our first ever NIP (Nursing in Public) at KK

      I'm glad u could accept the bottle
    • u love going out! ur debut was to JJ Tebrau when u were 1m17d. though u are pretty much sleepy, u kept holding on with eyes wide open. I guess u r so curious on where u r at as it sounds so different.

    • and just for the record, as u hit 2 months 5 days u weighed 5kg (u've doubled up ur initial weight!) and u're such a cute, strong, and Alhamdulillah, healthy baby.
    • when u were 1 month - 3.75kg
      2 months! - 5kg

    • u cried for 5 seconds when u got ur 2nd months jab. strong baby!
    • consoled by abah before ur 2nd months jab

    Monday, December 19, 2011

    Monday Morning Motherhood Mishaps

    what a jerky start I had for this week

    it was raining this morning
    i find myself kept on snoozing the alarm which rang at 5.45 am
    while 'tidur2 ayam', i contemplate whether i should wake up early to express milk
    or just sleep in till 6.30 and just forget about pumping
    and I decided on the later

    so as I woke up, it was already 6.40
    I jumped off bed, thinking "shait! my boobs are full and we're heck late!"
    quickly I had my shower,
    woke dear hubs up
    and kept on reminding him to have a quick shower
    as I prep up myself, Nurin's stuff, and my breastpump

    by 7.05am, we're out
    it was drizzling
    dear Nurin was not in her best morning mood unlike other days
    she was restless

    luckily hubs carpooled with us
    so I could calm her while hubs drove
    and that was when I realized,
    I did not packed Nurin's ebm stock!!!

    all I brought was the 3oz that I thawed
    and filled in her TT bottle
    the rest, still in the freaking fridge!
    to survive the whole day with just 3oz of milk???
    heck no!

    reached mak's place around 7.15
    unload her stuff and pass her to mak
    and told mak that I forget to bring along her milk supply
    so she should just use the FM that we already prepared for her incase of lack of supply
    with that, I drove off the driveway

    I felt guilty all the way
    as I drove, I saw the highway is jam as usual
    and I'm thinking, "What the heck! I'll be late anyway!"

    make a u-turn, went back to our place
    quickly parked the car, get to the lift, enter our home,
    grab the 4 bottles of ebm in the fridge
    safely keep it in JJ Weekenders cooler tote
    locked the door and grill, went down the lift
    and off I went back to the car
    all in 5 minutes

    drove back to mak's
    she was surprised to see me
    transfered all the ebm into her fridge
    give a huge kiss to the little one, and whisper 'sorry' to her ear,
    and off to workplace

    it was 8.28 when I scanned in
    NVM, I can always replace the lost hour to OT on any of the days
    but I should never thought of taking the easy way out,
    by giving my dear daughter FM
    when I still have enough supply for her
    (read: It would be a different story if I dont have any stock of ebm)

    Yeap. I felt guilty for even having those thoughts
    I even slapped myself (twice) as a punishment (yeap. to that extend.)
    but I'm glad and relieved that reality hits me at the right time

    to exclusively bf ur child is definitely not easy
    only mommies who experienced it would understand
    I, myself, still struggle to exclusively bf my child
    I'm still suffering with tormenting sharp pain on the nipple after a few feed session
    but the priceless bonding moment that I get each time she needs me (read: milk),
    defeats all excruciating pain that I have to endure
    knowing that only me, her mother, can experience that moment, is definitely beyond words

    unfortunately, while to others,
    "why go through so much hassle and pain? there's always the FM!"
    again, only we, understand.

    Sunday, December 11, 2011

    Wednesday, November 16, 2011

    Merdeka

    sudah hari ke-45

    not that I hate my 'pantang' days
    sbb my MIL pon takde la strict mana
    tp the fact that the 44 days dh over, sgt relief
    at least lepas ni kalau nk keluar umah, x perlu la rasa bersalah

    smlm lg dh mencemar duli
    hubs dgn baik hati ajak keluar
    bukan g mana pon
    saje jejalan, bawak kete
    nurin, tinggal dgn mak
    dh mlm masa tu, kol 9
    dia pon dh tidur....

    last2, hubs melencong ke Today's
    as usual, kalau dh ke sana, x sah kalau x memborong dvd

    then otw blk, singgah Kamal
    pekena tosai garing

    by 10, dh balik dh
    sejam je keluar...
    tu pon dh dok teringat kt nurin....rindu!
    si kecik yg dh pandai main air liur...huhuhu



    then td pulak hubs bwk g Tesco
    bukannye ade bende nk beli pon
    just for the sake of taking me out je

    sempat grab a rice cooker for mak
    she kept complaining yg the current one dh mule meragam
    so as a token of appreciation dia jage kami,
    I bought her a new one.....

    x sah la kalau si ibu ni keluar tanpa igt kt anak kan
    makanye, I bought 2 pairs of leggings for her
    dh lama nk beli, tp sbb she was born agak kecik kan
    even her mittens and booties pon kept on falling of bile dipakaikan
    bygkan betapa 'halus'nye my daughter ni

    but now, dia dh berisi skit,
    so baru la bole nk pakai yg cantik2 skit
    hihihih
    yg merana, opkos la poket si mamanye kan
    I ni dh la x bole menahan tgk bende2 comel utk girls ni
    asik la dok hit 'Add to cart'....bahahhaha



    p/s: for the first time, I typed this entry while bf nurin. selalunye hanya bole scroll and browse je...kali ni, berjaya mengarang....yeay!

    Wednesday, November 9, 2011

    Memoirs of Welcoming Our Little Princess - Part I

    1st Oct 2011
    we were at kempas. i decided to tag along when hubs went for a jog at Setia Tropika. Infact, I'm the one who suggested to go for a walk coz I felt extremely bored, staying in the whole day. Plus kata orang, kalau nk mudah/cepat bersalin, banyakkan berjalan...so I did. Mlm tu rasa lain macam skit kt bhgn bwh..tp xdela sakit sgt ke ape....come to think about it, maybe masa tu our little one dh menganjak ke bawah...tu yg rasa x selesa je kt bwh....

    2nd Oct 2011
    we went back to our place that morning....ade jugak ajak hubs jln2 kt JJ, tp x dilayan...hohoho...smpai umah, kemas serba sikit, settlekan laundry, then kami 'bersama'....masa mandi tu, I hisap air di hujung rambut...beria kan I amalkan tips2 nk bersalin cepat? masa tu takdela mengharap sgt menjadi ke ape...tawakal je kpd Allah...above all, I selalu berdoa, kalau anak kami dh cukup sifat, sihat dan kuat menghadapi dunia luar, dengan izin Allah, lahirlah....

    ptg tu, Hubs went out for futsal...I dok sorang kt umah, tetibe rasa nk memasak...mind you, towards the end of my pregnancy, I malas gile nk masak...not that I mabuk ke ape, tp mmg MALAS. tp sgt cepat lapar...hohoho...btw, dlm tgh sarat tu, I berjaya sediakan cekodok and mihun s'pore/putih....lepas maghrib, we had dinner together in front of tv....masa tu dlm kol 8...as we had dinner, we watched Masterchef US.

    Tetibe, dlm tgh tgk the judges tasting the contestant's dishes, *Plop*....felt mcm a bit basah down there. without moving an inch, i terus seluk and calit skit with my fingers. yeah. Im THAT curious! as expected, its something mcm air, tp agak pekat, tp tak pekat sgt. ape aku merapik ni. ahhhh..u know what i mean kn...and masa tu jugak baru i faham, kenapa we, expecting mommies akan confuse air ketuban dgn air tuuuutttt...hohoho..again, u know what i mean. siap tanye hubs lagi, ni air ape...dia lagi laaaa tak tau kan...tp sbb excited nk jd abah, konpiden je kata tu air ketuban...

    and yeah, i pon agak yakin tu air ketuban, tp, tak berapa yakin, coz mcm sikit sgt...sbb i always thought bile air ketuban pecah, dia akan mcm bursting gitu...ala....mcm dlm drama2 tu....tp ni sikit....so what i did, i wear nothing! eh bukan...masih pakai baju, tp seluar and panties, i bukak....so i walked around the house, dgn berbaju shj...hoho...so as i ke hulu ke hilir dlm rumah, feeling nervous and tak tentu arah, i dpt rasa ade air mengalir kt peha...agak warm gitu....masih x konpiden...rase tak selesa dia mengalir gitu, and takut kotorkan lantai umah, i stayed put in the toilet, and gave  my mom a call, and clarify, air ketuban tu mcm mane...she did described how it looked like...tp bile i cerita how i experienced it, dia tak bole nk kompemkan, coz she never went thru it b4...she had all 3 of us via c-sect...so next, call jane, hubs' friend...cerita kat dia, and yeap, the way we described it, it is air ketuban.

    tp i masih tak puas hati. sbb takde 'show' kan...tetibe terpikir nk pakai pad...so pakai seluar, and i wore a pad....sambil2 tu, i gosok baju keje hubs utk esoknye (ntah kenapa, i pon tak tau...) and packing2 brg yg last minute tu..few minutes later, i checked my pad, a bit basah, and ade lendiran brownish gitu. ok. I'm in 1st stage labour. tapi......masih tak tau nk terus ke hospital ke tak. sbb i don't want to stay at the hospital too long, or worst, kene hantar balik, sbb belum time.

    so I gave my uncle, our Gynae, a call...as expected, dia suruh ke hospital immediately...kebetulan masa tu pon dia mmg ade kt hospital sbb ade case...so we decided to go and serah diri laaa...

    but before we went to HSI, we made a quick pit stop at MIL's...to drop off my confinement period bag....and some of our baby's stuff...unfortunately, mak wasn't around...ntah mana dia gi masa tu...by then it was 10.15pm....sbb hubs igt nk mintak mak ikut sekali...so mmg takde rezeki....

    otw to the hospital, kakak called....she was excited that I'm in labour..kebetulan dia baru pas dinner kt kg melayu dgn her fiance...so nk dtg hospital jumpe i....i kata ok je...mmg sampai je kt area ER tu, I saw them....dia pelik I siap sengih, gelak2 lagi....dia igt I akan mengerang kesakitan ke ape...tp mmg masa tu tak sakit ape pon...rilek je lg......dh la i pon selambe je pakai seluar masa tu...lupe lak yg bile dh in labour, I should wear kain...hohohoh....

    fuuhhh...panjangnye........citer kt hospital, next entry la eh.....
    tralallalalalal

    Wednesday, November 2, 2011

    10 nonsense facts.

    1. masih dlm proses menyesuaikan diri dan menguruskan masa semenjak menjadi ibu
    2. masih dlm proses memupuk sifat kesabaran yg tinggi dlm diri
    3. migraine adalah semakin menjadi2 sejak kebelakangan ini. but surprisingly, sakit itu masih mampu ditanggung setiap kali nurin di pangkuan
    4. sesekali, perasaan 'terkurung' amat bermaharajalela dlm diri. rasa mcm terlalu terperap within the 4 walls. mahu keluar. mahu bercuti.
    5. sesekali, perasaan 'ini tidak adil' juga menguasai minda. hanya krn bdn sudah terlalu letih, ttp melihatkan org lain mampu buat ape yg mereka suka dan terus bergembira, sedangkan saya, menahan shj.
    6. breastfeed itu sakit. tak tahu kenapa, tp ia menyakitkan buat saya. jadi, saya akan menggigil tiap kali nurin demand. tp tahan je lah.....
    7. bile org kata itu ini, atau beri komen yg negatif ttg anak saya, saya berbulu. tak suka lah. go talk to others. not me. the mother.
    8. sudah 31 hari. rasa mcm bukan dlm pantang lg. hanya pantang bende sejuk je...yg lain, cam takde pape pon. pakai stokin pon bile rasa nk pakai je. hoh.dasar!
    9. bile dh bertiga, rindu saat berdua. rindu saat perhatian yg tidak berbelah bahagi itu. rindukan belaian manja. ops!
    10. bile anak berjaga dan merengek dan saya sudah terlalu letih utk melayan, dok popok dia suruh tidur...bile tgh tidur, lagi dgn muka yg comel, rasa mahu dibangunkan...rindu!

    Thursday, October 13, 2011

    Demam yg amat!

    tak dpt nk teruskan entry day by day...
    ni pon dh 2 hari xsentuh laptop....
    fb pon x sentuh
    demam yg maha hebat...

    sedih gila rase sebab terpaksa susahkan mak n hubs
    nurin pon dh 2 mlm tdo ngan mak
    mlm ni pon...

    skrg dh rase sihat sikit...
    tp masih jejak 38degrees...

    hopefully by esok sembuh betol2...
    sbb dh janji nk bwk nurin tdo umah atok n tok mama dia....

    jiayou fana!!!!
    kuatkan semangat!!!!


    p/s: dlm pd i tgh kesakitan, they made a decision without asking me, her mother....they just blindly listened to what others said....luluh rasa hati ni tiap kali nurin disumbat dgn 'benda' tu..... :(


    Monday, October 10, 2011

    Day 1 - Day 3

    Day 1

    • since I delivered in Govt Hospital, opkos la ade visiting hours kan. so bile non-visiting hour, I tried to catch some sleep. tp x boleh...coz hati ni dok nk ngulit and perhati si kecil
    • masih dlm mode tak percaya dh jadi seorang ibu, and berjaya endure the labour pain and process. normal delivery lak tu. dok terkenang2 saat2 nk melahirkan tu....Subhanallah...
    • rasa sakit jahitan buat i jadi malas. malas nk minum, malas nk makan. tp hubs, mama, mak, ayah and akak dok paksa2 masa i baru je masuk wad. tp i buat dek. bile sampai visiting hour tghari, mama ayah n akak dtg lagi, again, dipaksa makan....makan la jugak sesuap dua sudu nasi hospital (keras!) ngan lauk fishball sup (sedap) and ikan sweet sour (x lalu nk telan)....
    • sister dtg ajar i serba sikit utk breastfeed baby...tp masih tak berapa nk berjaya, cos baby dok nk tido je...dia hisap kejap je.. itupon dia tak dpt nk latch dgn betol coz my nipple yg hujung tu, tak terkeluar sgt....bentuk kon je....hok hok
    • berjaya pee sendiri dlm masa 4 jam after delivery. walau rasa horror gile, dan ditemani akak (smpai dlm toilet) i kuatkan semangat. sbb dh set dlm kepala nk discharge ptg ni jugak. xmo susahkan hubs ulang alik spital....akak jugak laaa yg dok tolong i salin baju, salin pad and wutsoever. malu? dh tak tau ape itu malu sejak asik kene seluk...hohoho....nasib la akak ade masa tu.....tq kak sbb sanggup amik cuti! loff u!!!!
    • bile nurse tanye baby dh kencing n berak, I gelabah..dh la masa tu takde sape teman, plus i tgh ngantok gile....so cam mamai...nurse dok paksa I cek sendiri baby nye diaper.the thing is, i dunno how!!!! dh la baby pakai bedung, kang I bukak, camne pulak nk pakai balik. plus i takde bwk bekal any wet tissue...duh! last2 mintak sikit dr akak katil opposite. dia jugak yg ajar camne nk cuci, tukar diaper and  bedung baby. fuhhhh!!!! berjaya jugak, walau dok terkepit2...huhuhu
    • rasa mcm nk maki je nurse, bila i tgh dok nk tido, tetibe dia kejut (dgn kasarnye) suruh i bangun n gi satu bilik ni sbb doc nk cek jahitan and again, kene seluk utk cek ntah ape before boleh discharge.
    • slepas  kene cek, tetibe doc kata, i tak boleh discharge ptg tu, becos our baby's GM level was quite low....(note: baby yg bawah 2.5kg mmg akan dimonitor GM level, katanya)
    • i balik ke katil, n since tak boleh balik, i decide utk mandi. ade air panas! best!!! rase segar bile dh mandi tu....
    • tetibe dtg sorg nurse, tanye i, since i tak discharge, i nak tukar bilik tak. sbb 2nd class ward yg i duduk tu, aircond nye rosak. hampeh gile!!! so dia offer dok 3rd class yg setiap katil ade 1 kipas. i ckp, i don't mind...sbb yg ltak i kt 2nd class tu pon is my uncle, Dr Ghaz (Uncle Li)....sepatutnye dpt yg first class yg bilik 1 katil tu, tp ntah nape, ade sister tu x bg! nurse dh tolak masuk dh, ttbe dia tarik balik...tak tau la nape....
    • n tetibe jugak, nurse tu dtg semula kt i, kata i boleh balik...yahooo!!!! rupenye GM level my baby dh naik...bape readingnye, idokle teman tau....dh boleh balik tu pon dh cukup syukur dah....
    • discharge process agak lambat. yela...bk documents kene setel...gitu gini, 7.20 baru setel..dh  laaa tgh maghrib, nk bawak baby keluar...tawakal je la
    • sepanjang perjalanan balik, ujan renyai....ujan rahmat utk baby kata mak...Alhamdulillah, sampai rumah, hujan reda.....

    Night 1
    • had nasi putih, air asam and ikan cencaru bakar for dinner...masih xde selera nk mkn...tp telan je sbb kesiam  mak dh sediakan.....
    • baby nangis, i dok suakan my breast. 3 of us (hubs, mak n me) dok pikir baby lapar...but she refused! dia cam dok paling2 muka...mak dh baca ayat2 pape yg patut. cos igt ade 'something' yg tak kena or kacau dia masa balik td...sekali i teringat nk cek diaper dia....duh!!! dh naik kering dh stool dia...patutla dia meragam....
    • after salin diaper, she slept. weols pon setel la pape yg patut semua..tetibe, dia nangis..lapar la tu kan....i sua kan my breast...sumpah i semangat gile nk breastfeed kn my baby.....tp hampa gile sbb though my nipple is already in her mouth, dia taknak latch...dia dok melalak jeeee... i try urut mrs b...dgn harapan dptlaaa menghasilkan hasil...unfortunately, takde...nothing came out...they were very soft too...mak dok kata, dia dulu, dh keras dh...air dh memancut la ape laa...i ape lg, depressed la....rasa cam loser and such a failure....hubs teringat psl my breastpump. dia suruh i pump. i did. unfortunately, mmg takde pape yg keluar...and mrs b i lak rase sakit gile sbb mcm dipaksa2 kan...hubs dh mula nk marah...siap hentak my breastpump kata BP tu tak guna.. sedih hati i....again, bertambah depressed....hasilnye, the whole night 3 of us x dpt nk tido coz bb dok melalak on and off...dh la mmg takde backup FM...mmg i tak terpikir nk beli sbb mmg dh set dlm kepala nk fully bf kan...mana sangka, mrs b tak dpt beri kerjasam sepenuhnya....last2, mak and hubs insist on bg air zamzam...i redha je la....nk buat cmne kan....dr terus tgk bb exhausted melalak, mak suapkan air zamzam pakai sudu sikit2...Alhamdulillah, reda sikit tangisan dia...
    • oh yea...kakak and ayah came over to visit us....baru pg tu jumpe kt hospital, atok dh rindu kt nurin...tp masa they came over, nurin belom meragam lagi....ok ok je lagi..huhuhu


    Day 2

    • start berurut. bibik yg urutkan..mak mmg rajin panggil dia utk urut or kemas umah....oh i loved being diurut..bibik ni urut sedap gileee...ade la sikit2 part yg sakit...tp mostly i rase best jeee....kan ade org yg jenis urut bersungguh...mana yg u sakit, lg ditekan2 ke ape kan..tp ni tak...mmg sedap....after urut satu badan, dia sengkak perut..ni takdela sakit mana, tp tak selesa sikit la...tp ok je.....then berparam satu badan, pakaikan bengkung lilit yg panjang gile tu and berpilis..... fuh...param tu mmg hangat!! rasa warm je badan ni
    • pokteh n mokteh dtg....pokteh yg temankan hubs gi kedai beli FM...they bought Enfalac A+....Alhamdulillah....our baby dpt terima susu tu...luluh hati ni tiap kali bancuh susu tu....tp nak buat mcm mana kan...takdir mengatasi segalanya. jgn kata i tak berusaha! i did...even sblm anyone sumbat FM ke my baby, i insist to hold my baby, and paksa dia hisap jugak mrs b...dgn harapan dpt stimulate la kan...tp mmg takde hasil....takpelah. dlm kepala i pikir positif...esok2 adela rezeki anak i....cuma i kene kuatkan semangat....
    • for lunch, I had nasi putih + singgang ikan ape ntah yg fresh dr laut courtesy pokteh + sup sawi

    Night 2
    • dinner pulak nasi putih + cencaru bakar + sup sawi
    • Fikri (hub's friend) and wife, Jane together with their adorable son, Rayyan came to visit...byk tips yg diorang share....infact masa tgh pregnant and air ketuban pecah pon tanye diorg....hiks! diorg dtg siap hadiahkan bag lagi...comel beg tu! ;)
    • Nurin berjaya tidur dgn nyenyak unlike the night before. she woke up only once at 3.30am for milk and diaper change right after...tp dh pagi tu rase bersalah pulak sbb tak kejutkan dia every 2 hours for milk...sbb baby kan patut byk menyusu kan.....tp juga rasa gembira and bangga sbb berjaya went through the night with nurin alone, tanpa ganggu tidur mak or hubs...;)


    Day 3


    • pagi tu, urut lagi.....same routine..and kesedapan masih same....hikhik.....mcm nk mintak urut 44 hari je terus...hahaha...melampau!
    • ptg tu, tetibe nurse from KK called, said they'd like to come over to visit mom n baby
    • dlm kol 3, diorg sampai....3 of them...they checked me first. since i dh kencing before they came, x dpt la nk check urine. move on to check my BP, mata, leher, breast and kaki for oedema....entah ek...sejak bersalin, kaki i masih bengkak lg....takde la segemuk masa end of pregnancy...tp bengkak la jugak....
    • after dh check mommy, check baby lak...they checked her physical and reflex response, alhamdulillah, all good...unfortunately, they claimed my baby mcm ade jaundice (kuning) and adviced us to go to KK for further check up the very next day. hati adelah sgt risau..... :(
    • masih mencuba utk breastfeed, tp tak berjaya..pump pon tarak hasil....Nurin on FM the whole day

    Night 3
    • kawan mak dtg...tp x kenal siapa....
    • Nurin managed to sleep well....infact, she slept too well...mmg baby yg ade jaundice, akan asik tidur jeeee....I yg risau sbb dia tak bangun utk susu..jaundice bb kene selalu diberi susu, kalau boleh 2 jam sekali...so that dia byk poo and pee, maka kuningnye pon akan kurang...therefore, i tried to kejutkan dia....i usik2 pipi dia, cuit sana sini, tak jln...dia just kerut2, or tido jeeeeee..dekat sejam i tried...i dh risau amat...siap kejutkan hubs mintak dia kejutkan nurin...last berjaya jugak bangunkan dia....rupenye nk kejut baby, cubit tapak kaki dia....tp nurin ni, org cucuk jarum kt kaki pon dia dek je tido..... -____-



    Our Bundle of Joy ~ Presenting Our Little Princess



    Name : Nurin Balqis binti Mohd Afiq
    D.O.B : Monday, October 3rd, 2011, 7.58am (5 Zulkaedah 1432)
    P.O.B : Hospital Sultan Ismail, Johor Bahru
    Weight : 2.39 kg
    Height : 46 cm
    Mode of Delivery : SVD (Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery)


    She started to open her eyes as soon as 7 hours after birth! :)


    Friday, October 7, 2011

    Untuk Nurin!



    Pumping while blogging and bertungku
    sgt multi-tasking!

    best achievement so far : 2.5oz from right B
    left B masih kurang memberi kerjasama
    takpe!!!
    jiayou!!!!!!!

    Lobak putih....come to mama!


    p/s: siapa Nurin? will update later....stay tune!

    xoxo

    Friday, September 30, 2011

    my first VE experience

    wah.....sudah kene VE!
    dh berasalin ke????
    mmg tak laaaaa... -____-
     
    eh jap jap
    what is VE, u asked?
    its Vaginal Examination
    pendek kata, kene seluk kt va jay jay untuk cek bukaan serviks
    ade paham?
     
    well, this happened last night
    gini ceritanya
    dh 3 hari (since tuesday yg rasa sakit tu) I perasan, baby mcm kurang gerak
    usually, by 3 or 4pm, fetal movement chart tu boleh setel
    tp ni nk dekat maghrib, baru dlm 5 or 6 jeee
     
    plus rasa mengeras and tightening kt area abdomen tu
    comes and go
    I couldn't really be bothered to time it laa
    sbb mmg tak regular pon
    so I just assume its Braxton Hicks
     
    tp bila dh 3 hari berturut, I jadi risau la jugakkan
    lagi pulak bile I google up,
    ade kes yg baby kurang gerak sbb tali pusat dh terbelit
    so kene emergency c-sect sbb takut baby lemas
    oh risau nyeeeeee
     
    so I raised my concern tu hubs,
    dia lagi la risau
    asik la tanya, anak kite ade gerak takkk
    last², we decided to go to the hospital je
     
    so smlm, after maghrib, kami terus ke HSI
    first time ni, agak kompius tak tau nk gi Emergency Room or Dewan Bersalin
    hubs rang his friend and asked, dia kata gi Dewan Bersalin terus
    so ke sana la kami
    he dropped me, and parked the car
     
    naik tingkat 4
    went to PAC (Patient Assessment Center)
    terang serba sikit my concern to the nurse,
    then disuruh buka panties and lie on bed no. 3
     
    as expected, a houseman yg attend I
    as the nurse's said, 'kt sini, dato' mmg letak houseman je kak'
    houseman pon houseman laaa
    diorang pon nak blaja gak kan
    tapi, tapi....saya malu laaaaaa
    sbb tau² diorang ni around my age
    ahhh..belasah je lah
     
    so he asked me this and that
    sakit mcm mane, sejak bile, so on and so forth,
    checked my blood pressure - 145/93! erk?!
    tp dia senyap, I pon senyap je
     
    next, wat CTG, to check baby's heart rate
    dekat 20 minit jugak ah terlentang gitu
    boring! dh la pinggang i ni mmg sedia ade skt
    so tgh² tu, I gerak² la kan
    nk selesakan pinggang ni
     
    tapi..tiap kali i gerak, CTG device yg kt perut i ni pon cam teralih
    so kekejap kang, sayup je dgr heart beat
    kang tetibe kuat pulak
    saspen je diorg...huhuhuhu
     
    and based on the CTG result,
    semua nmpak OK shj
    nothing to worry about
    baby's doing just fine
    takde tanda² yg pelik ke ape
     
    setel tu, tetibe the doc said nk wat VE!
    oh nooooo....I selalu disogok dgn org kata VE tu sakit!
    siap tanya doc, perlu ke VE?
    he said yes, since I've been having pains for 3 days
    takut mmg dh in labour
     
    mak redhaaaa
    dh la doc muda...malu laaa saya!!!!
    but syukur, he never made it awkward at all
     
    dgn ditemani nurse,
    he sat by the bed
    dia selak kain pink tu,
    tgk part tu kejap to make sure of where to probe,
    toleh ke tepi, and......seluk!
    sakit? Alhamdulillah, to me, tak sakit pon....
    cuma rasa cam tak selesa je laaa
    sbb dia pakai glove and ade lubricant kan
    so cam licin je laaa
    takdela rase pedih kene geser ke ape
     
    bile dh masuk tu, dia gerak² jari sikit
    nk cari bukaan kot
    tak lama pon
    dlm 10-15 seconds gitu
    that's it
     
    and the result?
    masih tertutup ye kawan².... -______-
     
    terus dia kata dh boleh salin baju
    and tunggu kt luar
    means dh boleh balik
     
    while I was waiting outside
    I dah siap boleh ulang alik gi toilet and jumpe my hubs
    tetibe i dipanggil semula
    coz nk check BP again
    sbb reading awal tadi quite high
     
    so baring semula kt bed 3,
    nurse suruh relax jap, sbb katanya maybe td reading tinggi sbb i risau... -____-
    10 minutes later, doc came,
    and checked my BP
    I swear he pumped that thing 3 kali ok! (dia pakai yg manual tu...sbb lebih accurate kan)
    bersungguh gile mcm tak caya my BP rate
    as expected, BP masih di tahap tinggi dr biasa
     
    berulang kali dia tanye i ade pening tak
    ade mual tak, ade sesak nafas tak
    i gelak² ckp mmg takde
    dlm hati dh berkata, ni kalau betol i have the symptoms, kompem kene masuk wad
    tp mmg takde...I felt totally fine
    cume skt² kt area perut and pinggang tu je
     
    so, again, I was asked to wait outside,
    while he prepared the report
    10 minutes later, report siap,
    gi ER, bayar 5 ringgit
    dan balik...
     
    Alhamdulillah
    nothing to worry about
    semuanya ok je
    cuma dipesan,kalau sakit makin teruk or baby masih kurg gerak,
    dtg semula
     
    itu lah ceritanya
    part of me agak kecewa sbb dh sakit² manja tp masih belum ade tanda nk bersalin
    tp part of me juga relieved, sbb semuanya masih OK
    at least, dh ade experience la pergi spital
    so nnt kalau dh sakit betol² nk bersalin,
    takdela hubs or I gelabah tak tau nk gi mana kn
    sbb dh tau area tu...
     
    I really hoped I will get to experience a smooth sailing labor
    tp rezeki masing² kan
    suke bace experience mommies lain
    pastu sebak sendiri smpai menjejes air mata bile diorg minta maaf ngan their moms and husband
    sumpah sayu gile bile baca part tu
    I kept on reminding myself to spare some time for that moment bile my time comes nnt
    pastu happy sendiri mcm diri sendiri yg dh beranak
    mcm sendiri yg dh dpt anak....
     
    oh tak sabar nk cium bau baby....
    wangi........
     
    hai lah anak....
    bila kah kamu mahu keluar?
     
     
     
     

    Thursday, September 29, 2011

    3am

    dah 3 malam berturut² I terjaga at exactly 3am
    sumpah tak tipu
    bile terjaga, tgk jam kt hp, 3am
     
    bukan terjaga sbb mimpi
    or sbb nk terkench
    or sbb sakit
    or sbb baby tendang
    or sbb hujan ke ape
     
    tp mmg automatically,
    terjaga.tgk jam. 3.00am
    weird kan?
     
    adekah my biology clock sedang mengajar myself utk berjaga di tgh mlm
    demi anak kami nnt?
     
    lak tu, bile dh terjaga, bukan nye boleh lelap balik
    maka i terus bangun
    gi bilik air,
    lepaskan hajat kecil yg mmg sentiasa je ade
    dlm pd tu, terlintas di hati
    nk solat hajat
    terus angkat wuduk, lalu menyembah diri padaNya
    begitulah rutin ku 3 malam yg lalu
     
    hajat ku buat masa ini, hanyalah satu
    dipermudahkan, diselamatkan dan diberkati tatkala melahirkan benih kami nnt
    bersungguh² aku berdoa, sehingga tersedu²
     
    dgn suasana mlm yg hening,
    buat aku byk reflect balik segala dosa aku masa lalu
     
    malu rasanya hendak meminta bermacam² dariNya
    sedangkan aku sering lalai dgn perintahNya
    bila dh susah, baru mahu mencari
    Astaghfirullah
     
    ampunkanlah dosa hambaMu yg hina ini, ya Allah
     
     

    Wednesday, September 28, 2011

    Of terminating Astro account while in confinement

    seperti yg sedia maklum,
    I akan berpantang di rumah MIL
    so plus minus, sebulan la kami tak jejak umah sendiri kan
     
    therefore, I igt nk terminate la akaun Astro kami
    yela...sebulan I byr nk dekat 100 for it
    so konon nk save, tu yg terpikir nk terminate sementara
     
    I tried to google hal ni
    tp mcm takde org yg pernah query on this issue
    so I sent an email to astro prior to this
     
    I must say customer sevice diorg mmg sgt cekap
    tghari tadi, after lunch, I received a call from them
     
    Unfortunately, for us yg pakai Astro B.yond
    and we first subscribe mase 17 Jan 2011 (tak sampai sethn lg)
    we are not allowed to terminate atau disconnect (or ape² yg sewaktu dgnnya) within 1 year
    its in the contract (katanye laaa...tp i tak perasan pon...sbb mmg tak baca.lol)
     
    so what they suggested is
    selama mana we're out of town tu, (I takdela btau diorg yg I'm away psl confinement. I just say I'm out of town. lol)
    dia cadangkan amik pakej yg paling basic shj
    which means takde sports and entertainment tu
    yg tu should cost us RM37.95 (incl tax would be dlm RM41 gitu)
    ok la kan
     
    at least ade jugak kurang
    so I decided to do that laaa
    but not now
    sbb dia pon kata, bile I dh ready, just give them a call
    and they'll reduce the package immediately
    so no hassle there
     
    maka terjawab sudah persoalan itu...
     
     
     
    p/s: nampaknye skt semalam tu hanyalah false alarm...tp mlm semalm I mimpi I melahirkan and siap peluk cium baby lagi...bile sedar, boleh pulak I menggagau cari mana my baby..felt so real la mimpi itu.... ;)
     
     

    test

    does this work?
    I wonder...
    hurmmm

    Tuesday, September 27, 2011

    Apekah????

    am updating
    smbil nonton sofiyya on TV3
    benci gile dgn bapak yaya tu
    pffttt!!!!

    btw, just nk update
    perut kerasssss....
    and ni dh start sakit2 ni
    kt area bwh sikit dr pusat
    tp takdela skt amat sgt
    cam tarik2 manja gitu
    nk timing...tp cam takut....
    plus not sure
    erk...betol ke ni contractions eh?
    konpius.....

    Major Purchase #2 - Car Seat

    Perlukah car seat?
    Personally, if u were to ask me,
    Compared to stroller, car seat is much more important than a stroller

    Why?
    Well, the main reason is of course, for safety purpose la kan
    FYI, all this while,
    Even though hubs’ and my workplace is just merely 3 minutes drive away,
    We went to work separately.
    I drove, while he rides his bike

    Reason is, he can’t afford to be late to work (read: Japan company)
    While mine, is more flexible…u came in late, u left later laaaa
    knowing the traffic in Pasir Gudang,
    One day, u can reach ur workplace in 15 minutes,
    and on some odd days, it might take u up 30-45 minutes

    moreover, he often needs to stay late for work or did OT
    while as for moi, I never left work later than 5.45pm (unless there are urgent cases)
    therefore, due to the time constrain, its much more convenient for us to go to work separately,
    rather than stressing each other out on the time

    so u can see that, since I’m the one who’s driving to work
    of course, it will be my job to send and fetch our dear baby
    to and fro the babysitter’s, once I hit back to work
    It’s impossible to do so without the car seat

    At first, I decided to get a cheap one
    U know laaa, asal ade gitu…
    But hubs on the other hand,
    Vetoed, since this is for safety purpose, no compromise!
    Since I get to choose on the breastpump, he should get the say on car seat. Period.

    He searched high and low for the best car seat for our baby
    Which is almost impossible
    His criteria ade 1 je
    Which is it should be able to carry a newborn, up to 3-4 years old
    Therefore, the seat should be able to (almost) fully recline,
    yg selesa utk newborn yg fragile
    Tang ni la paling susah nk cari
    coz most car seat yg boleh recline habis is the one yg carseat cum carrier cum rocker
    macam ni


    which can carry a newborn up to 9-11 months only
    bile dh besar, kene beli yg lain cos the baby will surely outgrown the car seat/carrier

    tp yg jenis ni, mmg la mcm best
    sbb kalau baby tidur, we don’t have to get her out of the seat
    we can just carry her along with the seat,
    masuk rumah or attached to the dedicated stroller
    tp tu lah, the downside, it can cater babies up to 10kg je
    dh besar, sile beli lain

    byk jenis carseat yg kitorg dok belek
    from Graco to Halford, Combi, Ferrari to First years
    tp tak byk model la yg available for each brand ni
    u know laaa, kt JB ni, the choices are pretty limited
    nk betol byk, sweetcherry la
    mana² JJ ade jual…full range.

    Kalau nk brand yg pelik² skit especially the imported ones, mmg jarang jumpe laa
    setakat ape yg ade kt kedai je
    infact, ade tu, diorg tak simpan stock pon....ape yg ade on the display rack je
    btw, we did this survey mainly in JJ Tebrau
    ade 5 kedai we checked out
    3 dekat area surau, toys r us and dlm JJ itself

    So after much deliberation
    Only 1 particular model yg fits our criteria
    And tidak terlalu menyesakkan our pocket
    Moreover, it’s made in Malaysia
    Harus la support brg buatan Malaysia kan… -_____-


    Safe N Sound Chiara

    • Convertible car seat. Rear-facing from newborn to 10kg, forward facing from 1 year+ and 10kg, to 18kg
    • Conforms to European Safety Standards ECE R44/04
    • 5 point harness with harness pads
    • 4 position recline
    • Comes with newborn cushion insert and airflow head support

    We found this at the shop yg berdekatan dengan surau
    Its in between surau and Voir tu
    Tak ingat nama kedainyaaa
    Tp kalau yg dh biasa ngan JJ Tebrau, kompem tau kedai ni
    Sbb dia mmg jual brg² baby yg comel²
    Especially tang accessories
    Price wise, if u were to ask me, taklah murah sgt brg² dia
    Byk yg lebih baik beli online...;p

    Mmg la walaupon dh fully recline, dia tak 180 degrees flat
    Tp sbb as mentioned on the last point,
    Dia ada sediakan extra cushion utk bhgn pinggang/punggung baby
    So bile kite letak baby dlm tu,
    Our baby akan dpt dibaringkn, instead of ade angle mcm position terduduk tu
    Faham tak? Ugh..I’m not good at explaining lah
    Tp, lebih kurang camtu lah

    In terms of design pon nampak sturdy
    Tapi tak boleh lagi nk ckp lelebih kan
    Sbb belom test lg
    Nnt bile our baby dh pakai the seat,
    I’ll review more k

    Hopefully she loves it
    More importantly, she’ll feel comfortable la

    p/s: did u know, in some countries (especially in the west), Doctor’s/Nurse’s will not discharge a newborn, unless they are sure that the transportation of the baby is securely installed with a carseat! They will never discharge the baby without one. It’s a good practice eyh?


    Monday, September 26, 2011

    Major Purchase #1-Breastpump

    As I've mentioned before
    I've been planning to (InsyaAllah) exclusively breastfeed my dear baby

    Therefore, I sure need a breastpump as I foresee myself as a working mom after confinement
    without one, its almost impossible la utk breastfeed kan
    mmg boleh, guna kaedah marmet
    but sampai bila la kan?

    so I decided to get myself a (good) breastpump
    after much research and reading reviews here and there,
    of course, many recommended Medela FreeStyle
    reality check, it's totally out of my budget

    so I settled with the next best thing
    Medela Swing that is



    An electric breastpump which perfectly adapts to the daily routine of a dynamic mother. Ideal for frequent pumping – handy, trendy and quiet. It can be used on a tabletop, belt clip or shoulder/neck strap, so you can always take it with you. For fast, gentle pumping, where it suits you best. Swing is discreet and stylish - it makes breastfeeding fun! It is the only single electric personal use pump with breakthrough 2-Phase Expression Technology for maximum milk flow. First researched and developed for hospital breastpumps, 2-Phase Expression is an advanced pumping pattern that mimics a baby's natural nursing rhythm by pumping in two distinct modes.


    Stimulation mode: To simulate your baby's initial rapid sucking to start your milk flowing


    Expression mode: To simulate your baby's slower deeper sucks to express your milk gently and efficiently.


    More features:


    One touch let down button designed for faster milk flow
    Convenient, easily fits into a purse or briefcase
    Efficient, adjustable speed and vacuum
    Comfortable, comes with SoftFit Breastshield
    Mobile, use on a tabletop, belt clip or shoulder/neck strap.



    Main reason I pilih ni
    Is first of, its not bulky
    So senang I nk bwk gi office or bile travelling
    Second, it can be battery operated or direct current
    Tak byk breastpump yg bole pakai bateri
    So senang la I nak pump kt mana², even dlm kereta ke pon kan
    Plus, the suction tu kite boleh control
    Nk kuat ke nk pelan
    Tang ni cannot elaborate sgt, sbb belom experience lagi kan
    Dh pakai baru tau la ok ke tak kan

    Downside yg I boleh nampak skrg ni,
    Is that it is single pump
    Kalau double pump, sure dpt pump lg cepat kan
    Tapi, takpe laaaa
    Dgn bajet yg ade, I believe, this is the best that I could get

    Once I've decided on which breastpump to buy,
    next is to search for the best deal in town

    I searched high and low for the best deal
    and OneBabyWorld is the right place to get the best deal of (almost) everything pertaining baby stuff
    go check em out k?

    Oh....btw, I just realised they've increased the price a bit now
    luckily i placed my order just before that

    I decided to get the back to work package

    which includes Medela Swing BreastPump, Cooler Bag, Ice Pack, Milk Storage Bottles, Nursing Bra, Drying Rack and a swaddling blanket
    and I add in another Nursing Bra, Washcloth and a  thermometer

    I placed the order and paid them via Maybank2u on Saturday,

    and my dad received them on Tuesday
    not much hassle
    pretty smooth

    oh yeah
    I received a voucher from OBW worth RM10
    am thinking of purchasing more stuff from them later on


    Friday, September 23, 2011

    9 bulan!

    We’re now full term ya’ll
    Syukur Alhamdulillah
    We managed to come this far
    Macam tak percaya!
    So lepas ni bile org Tanya, dh boleh kata “tgh tunggu hari la ni….” -____-

    InsyaAllah, if ever baby decided to pops out even belom reached EDD,
    she should be able to survive
    coz based on what I read, all her organs are fully-formed and should be able to function on its own now
    So sayang, kalau syg dh rasa kuat, and bersedia to meet us, U are most welcome dear
    We are more than happy to have you as part of us in this world
    But please, don’t force yourself k syg

    So far, all preps to welcome our little one pon dh siap
    Especially the emergency bags (1 for mom and the other for the baby)
    Dh siap masuk kereta pon
    Kali ni punye, mmg betul² dh siap
    Tu pon I packed based on checklist org lain and ape yg i rasa perlu n tak perlu la
    So I guess, ok la kan
    Hopefully I tak termiss anything yg essential… ;)

    Dr segi barang keperluan baby
    Alhamdulillah, we managed to strike of all the items in my NB Checklist
    Except for the Warmer and Stroller
    Stroller tu, InsyaAllah akan beli esok
    There’s a Mom & Baby Expo kt Danga City Mall (Sep 23-25)
    Will definitely pay a visit there esok or ahad (kalau belom in labor laaa)
    Hopefully ade la booth stroller kt sana


    Hari tu dh survey kt JJ tebrau
    Masa beli carseat haritu
    Dh ade yg berkenan
    Tp ni nk tgk mana tau kt expo tu ade offer ke kan
    Dpt murah brg seratus dua…hehehe
    Ceh…Harapan je laaaa…dpt kurg 10 hinggit pon dh cukup syukur….

    I know, I know
    Mmg stroller ni tak penting pon buat masa skrg
    Sbb baby bukan nk gi jln² ke ape pon lagi kan
    But mama insist on getting it earlier
    Sbb, we’ll need it masa majlis kawin kakak I end of oct nnt
    Ye la, takkan nk expect I ngendong je kan
    So kalau ade stroller tu, boleh letak dlm stroller, and sesape pon bole tolong jagakan
    But of cos, takleh la sepanjang hari dok dlm tu
    Harus la sediakan tmpt dia baring
    Tapi kalau stroller tu boleh fully recline, should be no problem la kan?
    Hurmmm…tgk camne nnt
    Tapi namanya nk suruh beli moses basket ke hape ntah tu, mmg tak laaa
    Pakai kejap je….bazir….so mmg no no la

    Yg warmer tu pulak,
    Bole beli bile I dh nk dekat² naik kerja la kan
    Coz I don’t think I’ll need it masa confinement period ni
    Sbb direct feed kan?
    Unless, kalau baby ade complications yg perlu tinggal kt hospital
    Or under any other circumstances la
    Harap² tak laaaa…

    Tapi ade satu lagi task yg belum dpt disetelkan
    Which is my our confinement period needs
    I did mention that I akan berpantang di umah mak kan
    So opkos la dlm masa 30-40 hari tu I takkan jejak our home
    So I need to pack segala baju bajan I n hubs laaaa
    Tu baru baju, belom toiletries, and other needs
    Bantal lagi….sbb I suke my bantal kt umah tu…tp bukan bantal busuk ok!
    Ade yg angkut 1 umah kang… -____-

    And barang baby yg lain² tu pon
    Harus di transport ke umah MIL
    We planned to do it by next week
    Tp yg ni mmg dh siap
    Tinggal nk angkut je…should be no problem

    One more thing, I’m thinking of temporarily terminating our Astro susbscription utk sebulan nnt laa
    Any such thing tak eh?
    Ye laaa…membazir je bayar 100++ utk benda yg kite tau tak pakai
    Tapi temporary je…nnt dh balik umah sendiri, subscribe blk
    Boleh ke gitu eh? Anyone?

    Speaking of astro, I’m thinking of a way to pujuk hubs utk subscribe Star World/E! kt MIL’s laaaa
    1 bulan tak dpt tekan tekan 711 and 712, mau gigil gak kang….huhuhu
    Poyo betol
    Tp serius, I mmg tiap kali on TV, i terus tekan 711
    Hubs pulak, opkos la 811 kan


    Ape lagi eh?
    Hmmm…as for myself pulak,
    Skrg I’m at the phase of memperkukuhkan pengetahuan on labor, breastfeeding and baby care laaa
    Lately, I spent most of my nights on youtube
    Dr delivery process, to how to get you baby to latch, and understanding different baby needs

    In terms of my health,
    Syukur lah kan, so far, I’ve no major complications along this pregnancy
    Setakat nausea, morning sickness (mild), foods craving (yg common² je) tu biasa la kan
    Cuma ye la, dh makin sarat ni
    Mula sakit pinggang, tulang punggung, tulang kt va jay jay and tulang peha
    which I believe is due to kepala baby dh kt bawah kan
    so segala beban tu terkumpul kt area tu
    and sakit itu adelah menjadi makin sakit
    bila nk pusing² masa tidur, n bile nak bangun dari duduk
    sakit sgt²….smpai terpejam² mata nk get hold of it
    but of cos, masih bearable laaa
    yg penting, minded tu kene positive…

    oh yeah….Semalam, I went for my 9 months checkup
    Alhamdulillah, baby is in cephalic but posterior (head down and face facing my belly) position
    Tp doc takde mention lak dh engaged ke belom
    And regarding posterior position, doc kata, InsyaAllah, baby boleh move herself to anterior position towards delivery
    So tak perlu risau sgt, and bykkan berdoa….
    Lain², amniotic fluid sufficient
    Placenta pon kt atas
    Kirenye so far so good laaa

    Cume yg I risau is baby is quite small…2.4kg
    Kalau ikut baiboo/baby centre, its normal
    Tp entah eh, I was expecting her to be erm…..chubbier
    But according to doc, tgk perut I, dia pon mmg tak expect baby to be besar ke ape
    Yeah…..for a 9 month pregnant lady, my belly is ain’t that big!
    Badan je besar….berat pon naik dh total up 16kg!
    Sbb tu la I expect my baby to be besar sikit
    Konon nk sedapkan hati yg I gained weight ni pon sbb baby….hehhehe

    Tp hubs kata, takpe laaa..yg penting mama n baby sihat…..
    Thank you syg!
    Tp farah tau, bile syg ckp mama sihat, its more to mama ‘sihat’ (read: demok!)
    I Love U! ;p

    Monday, September 19, 2011

    Antenatal Class

    Last Saturday, we (finally) attended an antenatal class
    Unfortunately, there aren’t much hospital organized such classes here in JB
    Whichever did, it was only held once a month
    Some of them are Kempas Med Centre, Hospital Penawar and Johor Specialist

    We attended at the later one
    Coz it was advertised it Baiboo
    Therefore I knew exactly when and how much it cost
    JSH organized antenatal class on every third Saturday of the month
    For RM30 per couple from 2-6pm

    With so much topic to covered in such a nick of time
    I must say, the class is very brief
    Frankly, there’s not much new info that I gained through the class
    As most of the info they shared, are very general and brief
    Something that I’ve already known from the research I did via the net all this while
    Except for the explanation on how to bath our newborn (we managed to record the whole procedure) and the labor room visit

    The class started off with a talk given by a representative from StemLife
    On the Cord Blood Banking
    Google for more info on this yeah…
    Its good to know on this….

    Followed by 3 sessions with Dr Mohan (one of the ObGyn in JSH)
    On Preparation of Delivery, Types of Delivery and Pain relief in Labor
    Generally, he informed us on the signs that shows u r ready for labor,
    Brief infos on Vaginal/Instrumental and C-Sect Deliveries
    And the laughing gas (etonox)/epidural for the pain management during labor
    It was pretty interesting though
    Coz he’s good at explaining and giving us examples an such

    Unfortunately, my 100% attention to the class got taken away
    Once the (chinese) midwife started her session
    On the required Nutrition during Pregnancy and Antenatal Exercise
    Its B.O.R.I.N.G!
    She’s not good at captivating our attention
    The so-called nutrition talk, was just something you’ve known all while long
    She even skipped a few slides! Pffftttttt!
    And the exercise she thought, is just merely different techniques of breathing
    Of which, I expected more!

    Then, the floor was then passed to another midwive (malay)
    Who carried on the class on baby bath demo, care for newborn, breastfeeding benefits and technique and Immunization during Infancy
    I must say, she has to improve her public speaking skill
    You see, she’s a nurse in a private hospital
    And were trusted to give a talk to the public
    However, her English was, soooo pathetic!
    I got so stressed out when when repetitively mispronounce some words
    It’s annoying, I tell you!
    She might just as well carry out the talk in Malay so that she won’t keep having this
    ‘emm’, ‘aahh’ while finding the right word at the back of her head.

    And what frustrates me the most,
    She did not emphasize much on the benefits of breastfeeding
    Neither on how a newborn DO NOT NEED any extra fluid (read:water) other than mother’s milk
    Cause I need hubs to understand this fact,
    as this, I believe, is the most difficult part to convince Mak on
    FYI, she insisted me on preparing at least 2 bottles for my baby
    1 for the milk, and the other, for ‘air masak’…. -_____-
    I’m afraid that my intention to EXCLUSIVELY breastfeed my dear baby
    Will be going down the drain, by ‘air masak’…… -____-

    Nevertheless, despite all my frustration towards the class,
    dear hubs did learned a lot from it
    Man, they prefer to be told, than read
    For that good 4 hours, it definitely turned him into a man,
    who’s very excited and eager to become a dad
    Why so?

    Cause since then, he’s totally at the full gear on preparing to welcome our dear little one
    First, he started to do some research on the hospital that we planned to deliver in
    On where to go when I’m in labor and keep pestering me on my hospital bag preps

    Next, he bought the car seat yesterday
    I thought we’re just surveying
    I did sense he’s ‘different’
    Usually, when we shop, he’ll be just like look at the thing, the price, and that’s it
    But yesterday, he touched it, maneuvers it, checked and rechecked the specs
    Disclaim on how it should be instead of that and what not
    And finally, we agreed on one, and purchased it then and there

    Another important note,
    He googled on video on how to use a breastpump!
    Btw, yeah, I’ve bought mine online and received last week
    I addressed them to my parent’s house, so I just got my hands on it last Sunday
    (Will update on this bit later)
    So as we reached home, while I’m inspecting and unpacking my valuable purchase,
    He silently googled it, and we watched it as we learned together

    I have to say, all this while, when I told him that I wanted to breastfeed our baby
    And I would need a breastpump, and told him how much it cost (which apparently cost me a fortune!),
    He said it’s totally ridiculous to spend so much on one item,
    And left it to me to decide on should I proceed to buy it or not
    And of course, I have to pay for it myself cause I insisted on this particular model… -_____-
    Who knew, after the class, he got so interested in it
    That he even tested it, just to hear the mimics sound of baby sucking…
    And had the most glorify expression on his face once he heard it…
    Such a beautiful moment I must say

    Haih
    Really can’t wait to meet our little one
    Sakit pinggang wooooo!!!!!
    Nk gomol dia lama²

    Thursday, September 15, 2011

    A special note for the unborn....

    Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

    Assalamualaikum anak mama
    How are you in there, my precious dear?
    Sempit ye….as I type this, u’re frantically kicking (or punching) on the right upper side of my tummy….
    senak mama tau!

    Syg…Mama minta maaf yea sbb smlm termarah baby….
    Ye laaa...mama penat, tapi mama tak dpt nk sleep well,
    cos syg asek main kt area rusuk mama…
    Susah mama nk jumpe position yg comfortable utk sleep
    Mama asik rasa susah je nk nafas
    Lepas mama pujuk and zikir², baru syg bergerak dr situ
    Then baru mama dpt sleep
    Thank u syg…baik anak mama ni…
    Mama syg baby tau!

    Bile anak mama ni nak masuk ke position yg btol?
    Kalau syg rasa kuat, and ade ruang, syg pusing lah parking kepala kt bawah yea…
    Mama harap sgt mama dpt lahirkan baby dgn cara normal…
    Tapi, kalau tak dpt, its ok…
    Mama tetap syg baby
    Yg penting, mama selamat lahirkan anak mama ni nnt
    Semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya…kan syg?

    Sekarang anak mama ni dh 34 Weeks ++….
    Lusa genap 35 Weeks
    Means lagi seminggu, anak mama ni dh cukup 9 bulan
    Tapi ramai yg komen muka mama sembab
    Mcm org yg tunggu hari

    Tapi xmolah keluar dulu ye syg
    Tunggu lah atleast dh cukup 9 bulan
    Then bila baby rasa dh kuat, baby bg hint kt mama dulu eh

    Deep down inside, mama pon rasa mcm mama ni tgh tunggu hari
    Sbb dh sarat sgt rasanya bwk anak mama ni ke hulu hilir
    Nk jln pon susah…
    Abah kata mama dh mcm ‘gergasi’ bile berjalan
    Sbb mama tends tu terhuyung-hayang...jahatkan abah?
    Hihihih

    Speaking of abah,
    Abah masih lagi terkejut kalau terasa syg kick perut mama
    Tak tau napa, dia kata dia rasa geli -____-
    Patut mama yg rasa geli kan? Pape je abah ni
    Tapi dia syg baby sgt ² tauu…
    Dia selalu tanya, bila baby nk kuar nk jumpa dia...
    Dia tak sabar nk manjakan baby…nk gomol² baby
    Mama kata, sabarlah...kasi la baby ni dok dlm perut mama at least smpai 9 bulan

    Lately ni pon abah caring sgt²
    Dia rajen ‘bobok’kan mama before sleep
    Ye laa…mama kan dh susah nk tdo…
    So dia selalu gosokkan blkg mama smpai mama sleep
    Even kalau dia nk tgk wrestling kol 10,
    dia akan tmankan mama sleep dulu
    baru dia gi tgk tv....

    Cuma tang urut kaki tu, abah selalu je bg excuse
    Selalu dia kata, esok lah....bile dh esok, esok lagiiii...hihihhihh
    Dulu dia rajin....tapi ni, dgn minyak panas pon dh misplace tah kt mane,
    Mmg dh tak merasa la kaki mama ni diurut
    Nnt syg igtkan mama beli minyak panas baru k?
    Kita buli abah....hihihihi

    Tapi nasib baik lah, dh nk dekat 9 bulan ni, mama tak pernah lg kene cramp kt kaki
    Cuma ade sekali, tgh masak, hampir terkena simpul biawak
    Tp cpat² mama straightkan kaki, then ok dah...
    Kesian mommy² to be yg lain yg selalu kene cramp kan?
    Mama tak tau sakit dia cmne sbb tak pernah kena
    Tapi sure skt amatkan?

    Barang baby utk kt hospital nnt, dh lama mama preparekan
    Sejak jln² raya aritu lagi, mama dh bwk bag emergency baby ke mana²
    Ye laaa…mana tau, kot², baby tetibe nk jadi anak Pontian / Muar / Spore?
    Hihihihihihih

    Syukur sepanjang 2 minggu raya ni, baby ok je
    Baby rasa tak mama makan dgn byknye?
    Mama naik 2 kilo ok sejak raya 2 minggu ni
    Mmg mok² teramat dh sekarang ni
    Total weight gain mama pon dh jejak 12kg!!!
    Hikhikhik
    Takpelah…yg penting, baby sihat….

    Mama harap baby gets all the nutritions u need, syg
    Mama try to balance ape yg mama makan
    Tp dh nama raya kan, lebih byk yg tak elok dr yg elok
    Oh oh…mama jugak minta maaf sbb dh lama tak minum susu
    Mama janji, mlm ni mama minum k?
    Sbb tiap pagi, bila mama gosok gigi, kompem gusi berdarah
    It must be lack of calcium...
    Anak mama ni tgh nk membesar…so byk amik calcium dr mama ehhhhh
    Baby pujuk lah abah, minta dia buatkan mama susu....
    Mama ni, kalau kene buat sendiri, dan dan tak jumpa mana susu tu…hihihhi

    Baby,
    kalau ditakdirkan satu hari nnt,
    mama tak dpt nk bersama baby lagi,
    mama harap sgt yg baby tau, mama syg baby sgt²
    baby ialah anugerah terhebat and terindah dariNya pada mama and abah
    sepanjang hampir 9 bulan baby dgn mama,
    mama rasa bahagia sgt

    From the moment we know that we’re expecting you,
    I’ve loved you with all my heart
    Everyone did…Mama, Abah, Tok Mama, Atok and Maktok
    Semua happy sgt bile dpt tau u will be part of us in matter of months…

    Syg, tak pernah sedetik pon mama rasa kesal dgn kehadiran syg dlm perut mama
    Mungkin sesekali mama ade merungut on how tak selesa I felt
    Or how irritating it is to have to go to the loo every 15 minutes,
    Tapi, tak pernah mama slhkan baby
    Mama tau, its just parts and parcels of being pregnant
    And InsyaAllah, there’s d greatest reward waiting for me at the end of the tunnel
    And I just can’t wait for that moment to come

    TQ syg sentiasa jadi peneman mama,
    especially bila mama merajuk dgn abah….
    U’re always there to ‘comfort’ me bile mama mengadu pape
    Bile mama nangis, baby akan give some reaction kt dlm
    Either kick or golek²….and mama anggap tu as syg trying to pujuk mama
    TQ so much syg

    Anak mama, jadilah anak yg sentiasa membahagiakan keluarga
    yg taat dan patuh pada Allah, hormati org tua, dan disenangi semua
    syg jaga abah yea...
    xmo selalu susahkan abah tau
    abah tu cepat panik kalau benda yg kurang diingini berlaku
    tapi he’s a good problem solver...Cuma first² je dia akan panic
    nnt dh lama sikit, dia dpt digest keadaan tu, then dia dpt think straight…
    tu lah abah syg…
    mama syg dia sgt²...dunia akhirat, InsyaAllah

    k lah...
    dh panjang sgt note utk baby....
    hopefully satu hari nnt, baby dpt baca ni
    nnt bila², kalau ade kelapangan lagi,
    mama tulis lagi utk anak mama ni k?

    Till then,
    I love u, my precious little angel....

    mama and abah while u're 8 months in mama's womb


    p/s : Kirim kan salam syg mama pd abah ye...U both means the world to me… xoxo!






    Monday, September 12, 2011

    The Ups and Downs of Living in an Apartment

    Frankly speaking, it wasn’t our first ultimate choice
    I mean, we never thought of living ‘atas langit’ when we first scouting for a place to rent
    We preferred a landed house
    Kebaikan dia, tak payah lah nk elaborate kan
    Semua pon tau
    Dpt parking dpn umah, buang sampah dpn umah
    Tak payah tunggu lift, yadda yadda

    Tapi Allah Maha Mengetahui
    We searched high and low for a landed house
    Tapi sentiasa tiada ‘jodoh’
    Malas nk citer panjang

    Dipendekkan cerita, we finally settled with a unit on the 8th floor at P**** R** Apartment
    If u were to ask me, I anggap ia sebagai takdir and ‘jodoh’
    Sbb we never knew/heard of this place,
    tp masa survey area A, someone told us about the apartment
    Terus gi tgk, terus suka (I did till now, but not hubs) and terus setuju sewa

    And dh 9 bulan duduk sini,
    I must say, it wasn’t a perfect place
    Mmg byk kekurangan dok atas langit ni
    Tapi I boleh terima tu semua
    Sbb to me, walau mana pon kita duduk, ade shj cabarannye
    Takde tempat yg takde masalah
    Lagi2 menyewa kan
    Mana ade rumah yg betol2 perfect yg fits our criteria kan

    Nak buang sampah, kene bawak turun and buang kt tempat disediakan
    Nak parking, kene berebut
    Mmg each unit disediakan 1 dedicated parking berbumbung
    Tapi our owner pakai lot tu, so we can’t use it
    Kalau balik lewat mlm jgn harap dpt parking yg dekat dgn blok
    Nak gi kerja, kene tunggu lift
    And nak dijadikan cerita juga, the lift that is much nearer to our unit selalu sgt rosak
    Selalu as in sebulan, at least ade 7 hari kami tak dpt guna lift tu

    So far I rasa 3 points itu shj yg I kurang berkenan
    Tapi I still can tolerate laaaa
    Sbb masih ade option lain kan
    Cuma kalau those 3 points dpt dibaiki, it’d be much better laaaa

    Hubs on the other hand
    Tak berapa dpt terima keadaan2 ni
    To him, it’s all so troublesome
    Walau dh lama dok sini, he still complains and blurts how much he hates this place

    Lebih² lagi on last wiken
    Kan dia jemput his friends and family to come over….
    And nk dijadikan cerita, there are few unnecessary incidents happened

    1. Guests have to register at the guard house and leave their driving license
    Dah nama duduk apartment kan, and its guarded, of course la security harus mantap. Takkan la sesenang je ntah sape2 boleh keluar masuk kan…residence sendiri mesti pakai their access card utk masuk. Takkan guests boleh masuk macam gitu je kan. Kalau mcm tu, baik residence semua ngaku guests je…tak payah nk beria scan card bagai. And that, to me, is the biggest difference between umah flat and apartment. Security!
    And because of this jugak, I’m happy with this place. I rase safe and secured. Infact, I don’t mind kalau hubs tinggalkan I sorang bile dia pegi futsal, and blk lewat mlm. Tp bila dia tinggalkan I sorg at umah mak (landed house), hah, yg tu I mmg sumpah takut! Ade sekali tu, umah mak dimasuki orang masa mak tgh terlelap waktu lepas asar. Habis barang kemas dia, and no one noticed! Of course la I takut kan. Siang pon sesenang org masuk, ape lagi mlm…..

    So I mmg sgt suka dok sini…sbb I tau, I can trust their security system. lagi2 skrg dlm lift pon diorg dh pasang CCTV…. But of course, harusla masih berhati2 kan…malang kan tidak berbau….

    And yeah, as u guessed, hubs felt so disappointed sbb telah menyusahkan kwn2 and his family sbb kene register and tinggalkan license at the guard post. Lagi2 bile the guests sendiri dok complain and said, susah nak masuk umah kitorg…lagi la hubs rasa stressed. I totally understand how he felt. He’s afraid that the guests will feel menyesal dtg sbb leceh. But to me, they should (already) know, living in an apartment, ade security, maka ade lah penapisan orang. But they just couldn’t accept this fact. -_____-

    And deep down inside, I felt so disappointed dgn minded mereka. Sbb this is the main point why I love staying here, but on the other hand, others hate it so much. Sedih!

    2. Lift yg berhampiran our unit, not working
    Of all days, perlu kah lift tu rosak pada hari we’re expecting guests???? Arghhhhh…I pon geram…tapi pasrah je laaa..nk buat camne kan? Dh takdir…tp tu laaa…kesian kt mereka yg dtg..ade tu, dia igt itu satu2 nye lift di blok kami, and he found out its rosak, dia naik tangga sampai tingkat 8!!! Kesian! Silap kami jugak sbb tak inform awal2 yg there’s another lift on the other side, cume kene jln ke depan sikit. Tang ni, mmg I kesal sgt…kesian kt dia…nasib orang lain jumpa lift yg lagi satu tu…. -_____-

    3. Kereta kena clamp
    As I mentioned earlier, each unit disediakan 1 dedicated parking berbumbung kan. So its understood that guests, harus lah parked di kawasan yg tidak berbumbung. Atas sebab² miscommunication, hubs dh bilang, park di lot TIDAK berbumbung. Unfortunately, his friend did not hear the word ‘TIDAK’, thus parked in one. Makanye, bila dia nk balik, of course, kereta kena clamp!

    And it became a serious issue bile, even kami dh settlekan the summon, his friends telah memanjangkan cerita dgn mengugut the guards! Siapa yg tinggal di apartment tu???? Siapa yg harus mengadap and menanggung malu di atas sikap insensitive mereka tu? The guards are just doing their job. Kalau I jadi pemilik parking lot tu pon, I akan marah. Ye laa..that’s my lot, tapi ade ntah siapa parked at mine. Siapa yg tak marah kan. Of course la owner tu gi ngadu at the guards and they clamped the car. So to me, the guards tidak ade pape salah pon. Haih…. sedih…-______-


    Therefore now, no matter how much I love to stay here
    How secured I feel to stay here
    Lagi² bile nnt dh ade anak, I yakin I selamat ditinggalkan sendirian dgn anak kami
    Especially bile hubs OT or blk lewat utk futsal or lepak session with his friends
    I have to give in

    Dh too many times I have to listen to hubs, blurting how he hates this place
    How troublesome it is staying here
    And how annoying the guards are
    For the unconditional love I have to my hubs, I dgn rela hati, give in

    For now, kami tunggu rumah tu dipasang grill,
    And we’ll move in ASAP

    It’s kawasan umah baru,
    Security, I’m not convinced
    Mmg ade guard post, tapi they just let anyone in and out of the area
    Without scrutinizing them
    So, mmg I tak akan rasa secured

    Plus, it’s a corner lot,
    Lagi la bertambah takut
    Tapi I’ll embrace it
    Cause I believe, setiap rumah, ade rezekinye
    And of course ade cabarannye
    Hanya bergantung pd kita utk mengolah and harunginye sebaik mungkin
    Mengikut cara hidup masing²
    And I’ll always berdoa and tawakal kepada Allah
    Agar Dia sentiasa lindungi kami dari sebarang bencana
    InsyaAllah



    p/s: I am not complaining, but just sharing my experience. Life is definitely a never-ending learning journey. Dugaan and cabaran tu ada di mana²...Its up to us to decide how to overcome it. ;)

    Saturday, September 10, 2011

    Open-ing the house

    it has been almost 9 months we stayed here
    and we barely have any guest around
    accept for both side of the family, mak teh, and maklang's family

    itu pon they came mase awal2 kitorg pindah dulu
    mak came on end of January,
    saja nk ziarah kami yg at that time belom ade anything at the hall
    it happened that masa dia dtg, sofa, tv and kitchen cabinet pon baru smpai
    so she witnessed all the messiness
    tp dptla I hidangkan mihun sup and ayam bakar for them
    simple jeeeeee...sbb diorg btau nk dtg pon dh last minit

    mama and others pulak dtg on cuti apentah masa tu
    raya haji ke raya cina,...ntah x igt dh....
    masa tu mmg tau ade dlm 12 org nk dtg
    n mama pon dh btau awal
    so I dgn semangatnye masak nasi ayam
    woohhhooooooo
    and sukses ya'll!!!
    hubs pon kata sedap.....hihiihihh
    since then, I mmg rasa yakin utk masak nasi ayam secara byk utk org
    oh oh...masa tu i blom pregnant lg
    so mmg mengadela kan kalau dh tau org nk dtg, tp tak prepare pape...

    eh panjangnye intro
    btw, the point of this entry is
    just nk btau yg we're expecting guests tonight
    nervous i!!!!!
    hubs is inviting some of his school frens to come over for raya tonight
    and he, being nice, xnk isteri dia penat, dia order je the foods
    x silap dia order mihun goreng n ayam
    yeah...simple je....

    tp i as a wife, am x sedap hati la pulak kan x buat pape
    so i decided to prepare some dessert
    and I made fruit cocktail trifle


    its my first attempt
    hopefully jadi laaa
    ni tgh set dlm fridge
    harap2 ok jeee...
    kalau x, malu wooooooooo
    hihihhihi

    and aritu dh beli apples
    so igt nnt diorg nk dtg,
    I nk wat fruit salad skit
    tgkla camne

    as for now, jap gi ni
    nk kene mop skit
    smlm hubs dh vacuum and arrange semua

    eh eh
    lagi satu nk btau
    esok, mak, maklong, makngah, mokteh and moksu's family is coming over
    ade lebih kurang 20 org tu....
    ramaiiiiii...tp i dgn semngat dan rela hatinye offer diri utk masak
    opkos nasi aym......ahahhahahha
    hubs doubt that i could manage
    susah jugak nk pujuk dia

    ikut dia, dia nk order jeee
    tapi i tak setuju
    i rasa i mampu
    lagi pon, yg dtg ni family kot.....first time lak tu
    dh la mmg selama ni kt umah mak, i jarang masak
    setakat tolong je...
    so i nak jugak diorg rasa air tangan i....
    walau tak sedap mana....
    but it means a lot to me....

    hopefully everything went well tonight n tomorrow
    hrp2 ank mama ni pon behave ye syg

    k lah...
    nk sidai baju n mop
    i'll update on the house 'opening' nnt yeah!
    toodles!

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