Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Azhraf admitted due to Osteomyelitis (Bone Infection)

sehari sebelum sakit...masih elok aktif berdiri and memapah 

Masa raya ketiga, Pokde and family came over to our humble abode, rindukan cucu katenye sambil beraya. Since they’re coming, I asked my family to come over too.. I masak nasi impit, nasi minyak and ayam masak merah…

Petang tu lepas sume org dh blk, Azhraf asik merengek…serba x kne…dukung nangis, letak lagilah nangis…I thought kembung perut ke ape.

Esoknye (Jul 9) bile letak dlm walker, I realised that he didn’t lift his right arm…bg ape2 semua dia amik pakai tgn kiri…dh mcm org kidal….that’s when I realised area bahu dia mcm sakit…
Hubs and I mcm blur jap xtau nk g urut or nk g klinik…sbb fikir g klinik pun ape je la yg doc boleh buat...sbb time tu igt cam terkehel ke ape je…in the end hubs insist g klinik je yg ade X-ray facility. So ard 1pm, kami keluar…nasib la pg tu mmg dh masak asam pedas ikan sembilang…so sblm kluar tu sume dh makan nasi…coz it was really a looooooong dreaded day for us.

Gi klinik i-Sihat kat Bukit Dahlia sbb tau doc situ cam best sikit…tau la kan ade certain doc ni cam acuh x acuh je consult patient…doc Mok ni mmg baik…very patient and concern…so siap baringkan adik, bukak baju and dia compare both bahu…lama jugak dia belek…at least I rasa puas hati sbb dia mmg examine btul2…katenye kt area sendi bahu Azhraf bengkak…dia suggest utk X-Ray to be safe, sbb walau pun jari boleh gerak n genggam, still takut kalau ade fracture ke ape yg xleh nmpk dr mata kasar…tp xleh buat kt klnik dia sbb radiographer dia cuti…so he wrote us a referral letter…we decided to go to HSI, sbb masa tu Sabtu and baru Raya ke-4, malas nk g pvt..kang ade yg masih cuti…g gomen inshaAllah kompem ade. So with the consultation and the letter, kne caj RM15 je…ok la tu…

2 kekanak riang kt A&E..jakun nmpak mama

Then weols terus ke HSI…with the letter, kami diterima di Zon Hijau…tidak kritikal…masa tu adik dmm sikit dh…37.8 x silap… masa tu around 2.45 pm… syukurlah A&E HSI tu agak selesa dgn aircond…Cuma agak hingar bingar sbb ramai patient comes with big family…siap cantik sedondon berbaju raya…masing2 bwk mknn jugak….mcm2 bau ade…lontong, soto, mee goreng…org x lapar, boleh jd lapar…dlm hati dh set, igt by maghrib dpt settle ni…



MashaAllah, only at 8.30 pm baru nombor kami naik! Bayangkan dr 2.45pm hingga 8.30pm I setia melangut kt waiting area tu…almost 7 hours oih!!!tp masa tu I ok je…masih redha and pasrah…mmg dh tau g gomen kne byk bersabar dgn waiting game ni…masuk tu, doc examine him…dia mntak izin utk X ray bahu…I said OK…so berjalanlah kami berdua baby and I ke X-Ray dept kt blkg A&E tu…masa ni ok lagi…ard 9pm kot…lpas X-Ray, g blk consultation room…lmbat pulak radiographer tu upload/share imej XRay, so doc mntak I tunggu kt nursing room…tp sejuk sgt oih…so I diri je dpn Yellow Zone…

dkt sejam kot…tgk2, no fracture whatsoever on his X-ray…another MO tlg tgk baby…habis ditelek Azhraf…bukak baju pampers bagai…nk eliminate chances of abuse kot…then she suggest XRay tengkuk pulak…I said OK too…masa ni dh agak lewat..10pm kot…I dh mula penat…g semula ke Xray dept…sunyi gile…seram sikit pun ade…settle tu, blk smula ke consultation room, nothing…all looks OK…tp both doc ni x berani nk discaj kami without having Ortho consult. Nk tunggu doc dr ortho, masa ni I rase nk pitam…dh la sejuk…x mkn…last meal was at 12noon kot! Lapar gileeee….siap msg my husband yg tunggu dlm kete sbb the other 2 kids dh tdo…mntak dia blikan mee grg mamak…sbb setel ni, I nk terus mkn…xnk singgah mane2…

Sbbkn mak mcm nk pitam, doc bg kami katil dkt observation room…lega sikit dpt baring…Alhamdulillah Azhraf ok je sepanjang kami kt A&E tu…most of the time dia mmg tdo je…asal jgn pgang bahu dia, dia ok…

 mmg most of the time waktu menunggu tu dia tido je..lenguh gak tgn nk memangku...mmg x amik stroller sbb kalau letak mmg kompem bgn ni...tgh xsedap bdn kn



kalau x tdo pon still ok...xde merengek sgt...ade masa tgh tunggu tu, terlintas nk blk je sbb nmpak dia mcm ok...

baru baring dlm 10 minit, ortho docs dtg, tgk xray, xde ape…pgang bb sikit, kata ok ni…maybe muscle pull je…so dpt PCM, kami balik. 11.45pm baru I dpt menapak keluar dr A&E tu…bayangkan! 9 jam kami ‘mereput’ di A&E HSI…

Balik sume pengsan…tp I hampa sikit…sbb I mntak husband bli mee grg mamak kn…tp dia blikn nan cheese set…sedih jap sbb kt tekak ni dh terasa2 mee grg maamk…tp mkn la jugak naan tu sbb dh kebulur kan…nasib sedap jugak…crita mee goring mamak ni mmg x habis sini ok…hahaha…esok pg sume bgn lambat…ard 10am kot baru sume bgn…kami ni jarang bgn lmbat..especially the 2 kids…penat sgt!

FYI, adik masih lg sakit tgn lpas2 tu…masih lg dmam on and off for the next 11 days…in between, kami ade bwk dia pergi berubat dgn sepupu mak on Jul 13th (5th day sakit)…dia bg air penawar…xde urut…tgk xde improvement, masih dmm dan skt tgn, I igt nk bwk dia pegi KK, buat blood test on Sunday Jul 17th (9th day sakit) tu, tp MIL n hubs insist bwk g urut dgn jiran MIL...dia urut dan ‘tarik’ lengan kanan adik…katenye mmg ade tulang ‘lari’…bekalkan air jugak…too bad, adik masih lg x pulih…still demam dan sakit tgn…

Continue Part 2





Friday, July 15, 2016

The day Mama left us

13 April, 2014, lebih kurang 10.30 pagi….mama pergi dan takkan kembali….kembali ke pangkuan yg abadi….

We’re supposed to go out for lunch to celebrate Ayah’s birthday (Apr 25th)…mmg saje nk sambut awal sbb kebetulan Maira (my lil sis) balik that weekend. Dia tgh final year kt UiTM Shah Alam masa tu

So pg tu…ayah blikan roti canai utk kami bfast..setgh keping pon mama xdpt nk habiskan…lpas dia bfast, as usual mmg dh kne terus get ready utk ke toilet…so I carried her and left her alone to complee her ‘business’….lama jugak tunggu, tp dia kata x dpt nk membuang ‘normally’….this might sound gross, tp mmg I dah biasa…so I akan bantu mama by masukkan jari…this is pretty usual for someone yg immobile…jarang bergerak kan…proses pelawasan pon kurg efficient…I tried my best to empty it all…

Settle tu, I mandikan dia…which I really glad I did…biasanye, bile Maira ade, she will take over…tp entah knape aritu I tergerak nk buat sendiri…and asked my husband to tgk2kan Nurin and Ayyash jap…masa mandikan tu dia ade ngadu x sedap badan…ngan ayah pon dia ckp mcm kaki dia kebas….slama ni mmg dia x boleh jln, tp dia x rase sakit/pedih…dia masih boleh rasa kalau semut lalu…Cuma mmg tak dpt nk melangkah. And eventually dh x dpt berdiri.
Sambil mandi tu, bile dia ngadu, I asked her to be strong…kite nk kluar mkn ni…td mama kan x mkn sgt…nnt mama mkn btol2 k…dia jarang kluar…so mmg looking forward lah bile dpt keluar ni kan….SubhanaAllah….lega nye I rasa bile mengenangkan I dah empty her bowel and mandikan dia, cuci muka dia, shampoo rambut dia, sabun badan dia pagi tu….siapa sangka, itulah kali terakhir I get to do all that on my dear mama…

Siap mandi, lap2 kering semua, amik wudhuk…then I carry her from the toilet bowl (dia mandi sambal duduk kt situ), to the wheelchair and then to the bed…I pakai kan dia baju, n pakaikan telekung…and tinggalkan dia utk dia rehat jap n solat dhuha, while I bathe Ayyash yg masa tu bru 4 bulan…lpas mandikan Ayyash, I ltak dia sblah mama…Then nampak lah ayah pon baring sama sambal borak2 dgn mama and main dgn Ayyash…I let them be while settlekan ape…x igt dah

Tau2, around 10.20 tu, Maira nk pakaikan mama pampers, tetibe dia menjerit panggil kami semua…kaki mama tetibe kejang and mama macam x respons…seolah2 kena fit. Tangan dia pon dia genggam and mulut ketap..i xtau lah knapa I pegi amik sudu and ltak in between her teeth…takut dia gigit lidah dia…sumer panic…ayah dok panggil2 nama mama…sumer cam tergamam…I straight call ambulans….mcm2 pulak dia tanye….smbil tu ayah call Datuk Li…mama’s cuzin who’s a head of ObGyn in HSI…dia advice panggil ambulans je and nothing much we could do.

Smbil tunggu ambulans tu, kami dok panggil2 mama. Sikit pun x terlintas utk kami nk cek nadi dia…kami igt, cam biasa, mama sakit, naik ambulans, admitted ward 3 4 hari, then mama akan OK…smntara tu call kakak btau mama sakit n tgh tunggu ambulans…ayah pulak while nk make sure dpan umah clear utk ambulans, bertegur dh pakcik Rahim dpn rumah. He came by, tgk mama, and he tried to check her pulse. Tergamam kami…x terfikir langsung! Mcm dh xde katenye…I yg masa tu kt sblh kpale mama, tried to look for pulse kt leher dia…mcm xde jugak….meraung kami anak beranak sbb langsung x expect.  By then kakak and her husband, abg echom pon dh sampai…few minutes pas tu, ambulans dtg, and diorg terus cek denyutan jantung n nadi… and she was pronounced dead then and there at around 10.45am….

Allahuakbar…we’re supposed to go out for lunch together, tp kekasih abadi telah menjemput dia kembali…sedih hiba sgt2….i meraung macam nk gile skjap masa tu….mcm hilang akal…I x nmpk my husband and kids masa tu. Alhamdulillah dia ade sbb I mcm langsung x boleh fikir straight…lupe anak…lupa husband…meraung je….abg Echom dok tenangkan kami…when I got back all my senses and blaja utk redha, bru tenang sikit…baru dpt berfikir semula and kemaskan rumah…salin baju mama….baru td adik pakai kan baju mama cantik2, tp ni kne bukak dah….selimutkan elok2,baca yasin seblah mama atas katil, then tiba masa, kami  alihkan jenazah mama ke ruang tamu dan mengadap kiblat.

Xlama lepas tu, ramai yg datang…Alhamdulillah adik beradik mama semua sempat tiba by 3pm x silap…ade yg dr Spore and paling jauh pun dr KL…jiran sblh kiri rumah yg mmg berniaga pasar malam, tlg masakkan lauk utk mkn tghari/ptg kami…semua siap dihidang di porch rumah jiran sblh kanan.syukur dpt jiran yg baik2…mmg betul kami dpt ‘makan beramai2’…tp atas sebab yg lain…sedihnyaaa….

Masa nk mandikan jenazah, ade yg tanye I nk mandikan x..tp ade makcik2 yg kata x elok…sbb I ade baby yg baru 4 bulan…termenung kejap, I fikir, xpelah…pgi td I dah dpt mandikan dia masa dia masih bernyawa…berilah peluang tu pd adik n kakak and yg lain yg sudi…

Long story short, around 4, mama selamat dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Bukit Aliff…ard 15 minutes dr rumah…I x ikut…ade baby kan…hari ke-3 baru I dapat zirah kubur mama…ikut ayah…seminggu I cuti masa tu…dh la baru seminggu naik dr 3 months maternity leave, smbung lagi compassionate leave. Nak buat cmne kan..bkn kita mintak..syukur jugak colleagues and bosses all OK…

It took me quite a while to digest the fact that mama dh xde…tiada lagi keberkatan doa dr seorang ibu for us…di akhir hayat mama, walau pun dia ‘paralyse’, she knows it all….dia ttp tahu ape ade dimana dlm rumah dia…siang2 pun lpas dh mandi and solat, sementara nk tunggu masa utk masak lunch dgn ayah, dia akan online using the laptop yg I ltak kt umah…pndai je dia google resepi itu ini, login fb…

Paling terasa ialah dh xde lg teman berbual waktu pam di office…dia rajin call waktu I pam…bukan bual ape pon…blk2 masak ape, buat ape…tp kadang2, I terpaksa make our call short bile bz…aihhhh…tu lah kan…bile dh xde ni baru rasa nk menyesal bagai…rindunya….ni dh 2 tahun pun masih rindu…terbayang2 usapan lembut tgn dia bile I blk rumah sana, lepas angkat2 brg masuk dr kete, I akan baring jap sblh dia…time tu la dia urut (lebih pd usap je pun sbb dia x kuat) blkg and bahu anak dia…suara dia yg ceria ucap “Assalamualaikum anak mama” everytime I smpai…rindukan dia ckp “Anak syurga mama ni” each time lepas I angkat dia or mandikan dia”…tiada lagi kata2/doa itu…semoga Allah makbulkan doa mama yg satu ini…

Semoga Allah berkati hayat mama, ampuni dosa2 mama, terima segala amal ibadah mama, haramkan mama dari azab api neraka dan rahmati roh mama…

Adik sayang mama…dulu, kini, dan selamanya…

Hjh Rojinah bt Abd Kadir (18 Feb 1955 ~ 13 Apr 2014)



Thursday, July 14, 2016

Hello World!

Assalam
Been ages since I wrote in here. Last was on mama's passing. Semoga mama ditempatkan di kalangan para solihin...

Lets do some updates!

  • We've welcomed our third bundle of joy on 15 Sep 2015. A Boy, Alhamdulillah. Azhraf Az Zidane bin Mohd Afiq. New rule... dh x boleh ade sempang '-' untuk daftar nama anak...maka nama last x sebijik dgn abg. Definitely a (pleasant) 'surprise' when we found out we're expecting another one. Masa tu Ayyash bru smbut bufday sethn. Merasa gak dpt anak setahun satu. huhuhu...Azhraf is a pretty easy boy...snang jage dia...masa pantang pon I ok je...happy je...walaupon x smpat discaj dr maternity, dh kne admit utk baby jaundice, I happy je...infact I mmg lg suke dok kt ward, teman bb masa dia jaundice, dr kene dok ulang alik g cek darah...5 hari gak...I ok je..dok kt spital ni tenang je...sampai masa, makanan sampai...huhuhu..tp kesian husband je la...penat berulang...

  • We bought a house! Sub Sale single storey house. Alhamdulillah segala urusan dipermudahkan. First pergi tgk rumah on mlm 1 April 2015, dpt loan approval within 2 weeks, dpt kunci rumah on July 27th, 2015, buat renovation sikit (tukar lampu/kipas, repaint cornice/ceiling/walls in all rooms and hall dan yg paling feveret tahap mengidam (masa tu tgh heavily pregnant) adalah pasang laminated flooring on whole house except kitchen. I managed it all. cari kontraktor, cari barang, cari design...hubs was pretty busy dgn kerja baru...so I was the one yg dok ulang alik tgk progress rumah during lunch break or after office hour. Excited oih. And we finally moved in on Aug 22nd. sgt rushing sbb my due date was on Sep 21st! sile bayangkan, dgn preggo 36 weeks, dok mempacking barang, masuk kotak, kemas bagai...tp mmg bersemangat sgt...nk jugak merasa dok umah sendiri sblm beranak!

  • Ayah dh ade teman baru....Alhamdulillah...sekurang2nye ade peneman yg sudi jaga sakit pening dan perut dia...hihihi...dh smbut first anniversary pon 12th Feb aritu. So far, so good...kami pon baik je dgn aunty...pandai masak and rajin jugak menghias rumah...slowly dia re-susun rumah ayah...kami ok je...it was nice...raya ni, mmg raya betul rumah diorg...siap langsir baru.. walaupon bli siap kt SSF...

  • Nurin dh start school early this year... I spent my final month of confinement leave utk mencari school utk dia...kt JB ni, ade kindies yg ikut skolah kjaan means skolah on sunday, ade yg x...memula tu I was reluctant nk pilih yg skolah on jumaat...tp masa during nk decide tu, mmg dh berkenan sgt dgn Little Caliph...so redha je lah...pengasuh pun sudi nk jaga dia on Friday, so OK lah...Alhamdulillah, bagus jugak sbnanye dia skool Ahad ni...Nurin and Ayyash ni mmg susah sikit bile ade sama2...asik nk gaduh...berebut brg....so sabtu mmg weols akan spend time together, then Ahad, mmg senyap je umah...Ayyash pon mcm x tentu arah bile Nurin xde...dok klua masuk bilik...xtau nk kacau sape...hahahaha...bile kakak ade bukan main awak dok nyakat akak.

  • Raya kali ni sgt2 sederhana....I didnt buy anything for myself..baju budak2 pon dpt lepaskan first raya pon dah cukup...asal sedondon dgn abahnye. bju casual mmg dh slalu beli...byk yg x pakai lg...sjak abah dia kje shift ni, mmg jarang sgt kami keluar...kalau ade pon slalu dgn my sisters...untung dpt sisters yg rajin melayan anak2 kami...

  • I'm no more working in WD...sbnanye dr masa confinement leave lg dh terpikir nk cari keje lain. sbb rase cam best bile 3 bln cuti tu, xyah risaukn ape2 psl keje...sblm tu, dia punye buzy dan stress...mak aih....tp bile dh naik keje tu, terlupa jap...smpai lah on March 1st, dpt notification kt fb saying I dah 5 thn keje situ. 5 tahun? fuhhh...mmh dh high time tu...maka terus scouting...x byk sgt opportunities kt JB ni utk senior position...I byk receive openings and offers from KL...tp x nk kot...x rase nk dok sana....Alhamdulillah, landed on pretty good offer kt sini...Submit resignation letter on 22nd March, and start keje baru on 30th May...sedih gile masa nk inform boss... all is good there...especially my bosses...just that, its time to move on and try new adventur...keje baru ni pulak ok je...cuma the thing is, the office is a shop lot. so sgt downgraded dr WD yg premis nye has it all, kpd premis yg ermmmm...toilet pun share gents and ladies... redha je lahhhh...bertabah sbb tau sini dpt blaja benda baru.,..good to build my repertoire...lets give myself at least a year here...then baru fikir camne...
So I guess thats all for now....nnt ade masa, kita kasi update lg...kesian Ayyash And Azhraf, I didnt update anything on their milestone...wuuuuuu




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