Think-Cry-Think-Cry

fasting today
otomatik rase lembik jeeee
bole???

haih
satu mlm i can hardly sleep
kol 10 i dh naik katil
mate ngantuk, badan letih
tp fikiran ni asek la menerawang jauh
fikir sikit, takut, nangis
pastu cube fikir positif, benti nangis
fikir lagi, takut lagi, nangis lagi
fikir positif, benti.
fikir lagi, takut lagi, nangis lagi
fikir positif, benti.
and the cycle goes on and on throughout the night(at least dr 10 - 12 am)

i did text myPerson
biase laaa...haruslah nk ngadu2, mintak perhatian kn
walaupon dh tau org tu sibuk ngan tournament futsal smpai kol 12
tp watdehek la...text jeeee...nnt dia abes main, dia bace laaa

and him, being a very supportive and the ultimate understanding other half,
called me right away once he hit the sack
mase tu dh kol 1230 x silap
dh siap2 mandi laaa

dgr suare dia je, terus nanges ok
gile drama queen aku nih
ntah bape puloh kali laa i nangis smlm
mate ni mmg dh mengalahkn org cina

it was so nice of him
bg kate2 peransang, and try to manipulate all my negative thought into +ve ones
and saye adelah terpengaruh. very vulnerable i am.
he also did try to get me stop thinking of the workloads
by discussing on our plans. the future plans
he managed to put me into sleep thereafter
by then, its already freaking 2 in the morng if im not mistaken

dh la kol 4.30, i bangun utk masakkan lauk sahur
masak simple jek
by 5, everything is done, kejut yg lain mkn
pas mkn, i terus naik katil
hoping i could catch more beauty sleep
(macam mane la ko tak gomok cik fana oiiiii...)

xde maknenyeee ok...
kpale otak ni masih gak nk bekerja, kerja, kerja
n mata ni dok nak nanges, nanges, nanges
by then dah ntah brape byk baldi airmate tumpah
haih

and now, I'm in office
alone
forcing myself to get in all the +ve vibes

no laaa
it was more on - forcing myself NOT TO CRY!




p/s: so much of the 'big girls don't cry' huh??? I guess Im not that BIG after all... right? No? ;P