Merdeka

sudah hari ke-45

not that I hate my 'pantang' days
sbb my MIL pon takde la strict mana
tp the fact that the 44 days dh over, sgt relief
at least lepas ni kalau nk keluar umah, x perlu la rasa bersalah

smlm lg dh mencemar duli
hubs dgn baik hati ajak keluar
bukan g mana pon
saje jejalan, bawak kete
nurin, tinggal dgn mak
dh mlm masa tu, kol 9
dia pon dh tidur....

last2, hubs melencong ke Today's
as usual, kalau dh ke sana, x sah kalau x memborong dvd

then otw blk, singgah Kamal
pekena tosai garing

by 10, dh balik dh
sejam je keluar...
tu pon dh dok teringat kt nurin....rindu!
si kecik yg dh pandai main air liur...huhuhu

then td pulak hubs bwk g Tesco
bukannye ade bende nk beli pon
just for the sake of taking me out je

sempat grab a rice cooker for mak
she kept complaining yg the current one dh mule meragam
so as a token of appreciation dia jage kami,
I bought her a new one.....

x sah la kalau si ibu ni keluar tanpa igt kt anak kan
makanye, I bought 2 pairs of leggings for her
dh lama nk beli, tp sbb she was born agak kecik kan
even her mittens and booties pon kept on falling of bile dipakaikan
bygkan betapa 'halus'nye my daughter ni

but now, dia dh berisi skit,
so baru la bole nk pakai yg cantik2 skit
hihihih
yg merana, opkos la poket si mamanye kan
I ni dh la x bole menahan tgk bende2 comel utk girls ni
asik la dok hit 'Add to cart'....bahahhaha



p/s: for the first time, I typed this entry while bf nurin. selalunye hanya bole scroll and browse je...kali ni, berjaya mengarang....yeay!

Memoirs of Welcoming Our Little Princess - Part I

1st Oct 2011
we were at kempas. i decided to tag along when hubs went for a jog at Setia Tropika. Infact, I'm the one who suggested to go for a walk coz I felt extremely bored, staying in the whole day. Plus kata orang, kalau nk mudah/cepat bersalin, banyakkan berjalan...so I did. Mlm tu rasa lain macam skit kt bhgn bwh..tp xdela sakit sgt ke ape....come to think about it, maybe masa tu our little one dh menganjak ke bawah...tu yg rasa x selesa je kt bwh....

2nd Oct 2011
we went back to our place that morning....ade jugak ajak hubs jln2 kt JJ, tp x dilayan...hohoho...smpai umah, kemas serba sikit, settlekan laundry, then kami 'bersama'....masa mandi tu, I hisap air di hujung rambut...beria kan I amalkan tips2 nk bersalin cepat? masa tu takdela mengharap sgt menjadi ke ape...tawakal je kpd Allah...above all, I selalu berdoa, kalau anak kami dh cukup sifat, sihat dan kuat menghadapi dunia luar, dengan izin Allah, lahirlah....

ptg tu, Hubs went out for futsal...I dok sorang kt umah, tetibe rasa nk memasak...mind you, towards the end of my pregnancy, I malas gile nk masak...not that I mabuk ke ape, tp mmg MALAS. tp sgt cepat lapar...hohoho...btw, dlm tgh sarat tu, I berjaya sediakan cekodok and mihun s'pore/putih....lepas maghrib, we had dinner together in front of tv....masa tu dlm kol 8...as we had dinner, we watched Masterchef US.

Tetibe, dlm tgh tgk the judges tasting the contestant's dishes, *Plop*....felt mcm a bit basah down there. without moving an inch, i terus seluk and calit skit with my fingers. yeah. Im THAT curious! as expected, its something mcm air, tp agak pekat, tp tak pekat sgt. ape aku merapik ni. ahhhh..u know what i mean kn...and masa tu jugak baru i faham, kenapa we, expecting mommies akan confuse air ketuban dgn air tuuuutttt...hohoho..again, u know what i mean. siap tanye hubs lagi, ni air ape...dia lagi laaaa tak tau kan...tp sbb excited nk jd abah, konpiden je kata tu air ketuban...

and yeah, i pon agak yakin tu air ketuban, tp, tak berapa yakin, coz mcm sikit sgt...sbb i always thought bile air ketuban pecah, dia akan mcm bursting gitu...ala....mcm dlm drama2 tu....tp ni sikit....so what i did, i wear nothing! eh bukan...masih pakai baju, tp seluar and panties, i bukak....so i walked around the house, dgn berbaju shj...hoho...so as i ke hulu ke hilir dlm rumah, feeling nervous and tak tentu arah, i dpt rasa ade air mengalir kt peha...agak warm gitu....masih x konpiden...rase tak selesa dia mengalir gitu, and takut kotorkan lantai umah, i stayed put in the toilet, and gave  my mom a call, and clarify, air ketuban tu mcm mane...she did described how it looked like...tp bile i cerita how i experienced it, dia tak bole nk kompemkan, coz she never went thru it b4...she had all 3 of us via c-sect...so next, call jane, hubs' friend...cerita kat dia, and yeap, the way we described it, it is air ketuban.

tp i masih tak puas hati. sbb takde 'show' kan...tetibe terpikir nk pakai pad...so pakai seluar, and i wore a pad....sambil2 tu, i gosok baju keje hubs utk esoknye (ntah kenapa, i pon tak tau...) and packing2 brg yg last minute tu..few minutes later, i checked my pad, a bit basah, and ade lendiran brownish gitu. ok. I'm in 1st stage labour. tapi......masih tak tau nk terus ke hospital ke tak. sbb i don't want to stay at the hospital too long, or worst, kene hantar balik, sbb belum time.

so I gave my uncle, our Gynae, a call...as expected, dia suruh ke hospital immediately...kebetulan masa tu pon dia mmg ade kt hospital sbb ade case...so we decided to go and serah diri laaa...

but before we went to HSI, we made a quick pit stop at MIL's...to drop off my confinement period bag....and some of our baby's stuff...unfortunately, mak wasn't around...ntah mana dia gi masa tu...by then it was 10.15pm....sbb hubs igt nk mintak mak ikut sekali...so mmg takde rezeki....

otw to the hospital, kakak called....she was excited that I'm in labour..kebetulan dia baru pas dinner kt kg melayu dgn her fiance...so nk dtg hospital jumpe i....i kata ok je...mmg sampai je kt area ER tu, I saw them....dia pelik I siap sengih, gelak2 lagi....dia igt I akan mengerang kesakitan ke ape...tp mmg masa tu tak sakit ape pon...rilek je lg......dh la i pon selambe je pakai seluar masa tu...lupe lak yg bile dh in labour, I should wear kain...hohohoh....

fuuhhh...panjangnye........citer kt hospital, next entry la eh.....
tralallalalalal

10 nonsense facts.

1. masih dlm proses menyesuaikan diri dan menguruskan masa semenjak menjadi ibu
2. masih dlm proses memupuk sifat kesabaran yg tinggi dlm diri
3. migraine adalah semakin menjadi2 sejak kebelakangan ini. but surprisingly, sakit itu masih mampu ditanggung setiap kali nurin di pangkuan
4. sesekali, perasaan 'terkurung' amat bermaharajalela dlm diri. rasa mcm terlalu terperap within the 4 walls. mahu keluar. mahu bercuti.
5. sesekali, perasaan 'ini tidak adil' juga menguasai minda. hanya krn bdn sudah terlalu letih, ttp melihatkan org lain mampu buat ape yg mereka suka dan terus bergembira, sedangkan saya, menahan shj.
6. breastfeed itu sakit. tak tahu kenapa, tp ia menyakitkan buat saya. jadi, saya akan menggigil tiap kali nurin demand. tp tahan je lah.....
7. bile org kata itu ini, atau beri komen yg negatif ttg anak saya, saya berbulu. tak suka lah. go talk to others. not me. the mother.
8. sudah 31 hari. rasa mcm bukan dlm pantang lg. hanya pantang bende sejuk je...yg lain, cam takde pape pon. pakai stokin pon bile rasa nk pakai je. hoh.dasar!
9. bile dh bertiga, rindu saat berdua. rindu saat perhatian yg tidak berbelah bahagi itu. rindukan belaian manja. ops!
10. bile anak berjaga dan merengek dan saya sudah terlalu letih utk melayan, dok popok dia suruh tidur...bile tgh tidur, lagi dgn muka yg comel, rasa mahu dibangunkan...rindu!

Demam yg amat!

tak dpt nk teruskan entry day by day...
ni pon dh 2 hari xsentuh laptop....
fb pon x sentuh
demam yg maha hebat...

sedih gila rase sebab terpaksa susahkan mak n hubs
nurin pon dh 2 mlm tdo ngan mak
mlm ni pon...

skrg dh rase sihat sikit...
tp masih jejak 38degrees...

hopefully by esok sembuh betol2...
sbb dh janji nk bwk nurin tdo umah atok n tok mama dia....

jiayou fana!!!!
kuatkan semangat!!!!


p/s: dlm pd i tgh kesakitan, they made a decision without asking me, her mother....they just blindly listened to what others said....luluh rasa hati ni tiap kali nurin disumbat dgn 'benda' tu..... :(

Day 1 - Day 3

Day 1

• since I delivered in Govt Hospital, opkos la ade visiting hours kan. so bile non-visiting hour, I tried to catch some sleep. tp x boleh...coz hati ni dok nk ngulit and perhati si kecil
• masih dlm mode tak percaya dh jadi seorang ibu, and berjaya endure the labour pain and process. normal delivery lak tu. dok terkenang2 saat2 nk melahirkan tu....Subhanallah...
• rasa sakit jahitan buat i jadi malas. malas nk minum, malas nk makan. tp hubs, mama, mak, ayah and akak dok paksa2 masa i baru je masuk wad. tp i buat dek. bile sampai visiting hour tghari, mama ayah n akak dtg lagi, again, dipaksa makan....makan la jugak sesuap dua sudu nasi hospital (keras!) ngan lauk fishball sup (sedap) and ikan sweet sour (x lalu nk telan)....
• sister dtg ajar i serba sikit utk breastfeed baby...tp masih tak berapa nk berjaya, cos baby dok nk tido je...dia hisap kejap je.. itupon dia tak dpt nk latch dgn betol coz my nipple yg hujung tu, tak terkeluar sgt....bentuk kon je....hok hok
• berjaya pee sendiri dlm masa 4 jam after delivery. walau rasa horror gile, dan ditemani akak (smpai dlm toilet) i kuatkan semangat. sbb dh set dlm kepala nk discharge ptg ni jugak. xmo susahkan hubs ulang alik spital....akak jugak laaa yg dok tolong i salin baju, salin pad and wutsoever. malu? dh tak tau ape itu malu sejak asik kene seluk...hohoho....nasib la akak ade masa tu.....tq kak sbb sanggup amik cuti! loff u!!!!
• bile nurse tanye baby dh kencing n berak, I gelabah..dh la masa tu takde sape teman, plus i tgh ngantok gile....so cam mamai...nurse dok paksa I cek sendiri baby nye diaper.the thing is, i dunno how!!!! dh la baby pakai bedung, kang I bukak, camne pulak nk pakai balik. plus i takde bwk bekal any wet tissue...duh! last2 mintak sikit dr akak katil opposite. dia jugak yg ajar camne nk cuci, tukar diaper and  bedung baby. fuhhhh!!!! berjaya jugak, walau dok terkepit2...huhuhu
• rasa mcm nk maki je nurse, bila i tgh dok nk tido, tetibe dia kejut (dgn kasarnye) suruh i bangun n gi satu bilik ni sbb doc nk cek jahitan and again, kene seluk utk cek ntah ape before boleh discharge.
• slepas  kene cek, tetibe doc kata, i tak boleh discharge ptg tu, becos our baby's GM level was quite low....(note: baby yg bawah 2.5kg mmg akan dimonitor GM level, katanya)
• i balik ke katil, n since tak boleh balik, i decide utk mandi. ade air panas! best!!! rase segar bile dh mandi tu....
• tetibe dtg sorg nurse, tanye i, since i tak discharge, i nak tukar bilik tak. sbb 2nd class ward yg i duduk tu, aircond nye rosak. hampeh gile!!! so dia offer dok 3rd class yg setiap katil ade 1 kipas. i ckp, i don't mind...sbb yg ltak i kt 2nd class tu pon is my uncle, Dr Ghaz (Uncle Li)....sepatutnye dpt yg first class yg bilik 1 katil tu, tp ntah nape, ade sister tu x bg! nurse dh tolak masuk dh, ttbe dia tarik balik...tak tau la nape....
• n tetibe jugak, nurse tu dtg semula kt i, kata i boleh balik...yahooo!!!! rupenye GM level my baby dh naik...bape readingnye, idokle teman tau....dh boleh balik tu pon dh cukup syukur dah....
• discharge process agak lambat. yela...bk documents kene setel...gitu gini, 7.20 baru setel..dh  laaa tgh maghrib, nk bawak baby keluar...tawakal je la
• sepanjang perjalanan balik, ujan renyai....ujan rahmat utk baby kata mak...Alhamdulillah, sampai rumah, hujan reda.....

Night 1

• had nasi putih, air asam and ikan cencaru bakar for dinner...masih xde selera nk mkn...tp telan je sbb kesiam  mak dh sediakan.....
• baby nangis, i dok suakan my breast. 3 of us (hubs, mak n me) dok pikir baby lapar...but she refused! dia cam dok paling2 muka...mak dh baca ayat2 pape yg patut. cos igt ade 'something' yg tak kena or kacau dia masa balik td...sekali i teringat nk cek diaper dia....duh!!! dh naik kering dh stool dia...patutla dia meragam....
• after salin diaper, she slept. weols pon setel la pape yg patut semua..tetibe, dia nangis..lapar la tu kan....i sua kan my breast...sumpah i semangat gile nk breastfeed kn my baby.....tp hampa gile sbb though my nipple is already in her mouth, dia taknak latch...dia dok melalak jeeee... i try urut mrs b...dgn harapan dptlaaa menghasilkan hasil...unfortunately, takde...nothing came out...they were very soft too...mak dok kata, dia dulu, dh keras dh...air dh memancut la ape laa...i ape lg, depressed la....rasa cam loser and such a failure....hubs teringat psl my breastpump. dia suruh i pump. i did. unfortunately, mmg takde pape yg keluar...and mrs b i lak rase sakit gile sbb mcm dipaksa2 kan...hubs dh mula nk marah...siap hentak my breastpump kata BP tu tak guna.. sedih hati i....again, bertambah depressed....hasilnye, the whole night 3 of us x dpt nk tido coz bb dok melalak on and off...dh la mmg takde backup FM...mmg i tak terpikir nk beli sbb mmg dh set dlm kepala nk fully bf kan...mana sangka, mrs b tak dpt beri kerjasam sepenuhnya....last2, mak and hubs insist on bg air zamzam...i redha je la....nk buat cmne kan....dr terus tgk bb exhausted melalak, mak suapkan air zamzam pakai sudu sikit2...Alhamdulillah, reda sikit tangisan dia...
• oh yea...kakak and ayah came over to visit us....baru pg tu jumpe kt hospital, atok dh rindu kt nurin...tp masa they came over, nurin belom meragam lagi....ok ok je lagi..huhuhu

Day 2

• start berurut. bibik yg urutkan..mak mmg rajin panggil dia utk urut or kemas umah....oh i loved being diurut..bibik ni urut sedap gileee...ade la sikit2 part yg sakit...tp mostly i rase best jeee....kan ade org yg jenis urut bersungguh...mana yg u sakit, lg ditekan2 ke ape kan..tp ni tak...mmg sedap....after urut satu badan, dia sengkak perut..ni takdela sakit mana, tp tak selesa sikit la...tp ok je.....then berparam satu badan, pakaikan bengkung lilit yg panjang gile tu and berpilis..... fuh...param tu mmg hangat!! rasa warm je badan ni
• pokteh n mokteh dtg....pokteh yg temankan hubs gi kedai beli FM...they bought Enfalac A+....Alhamdulillah....our baby dpt terima susu tu...luluh hati ni tiap kali bancuh susu tu....tp nak buat mcm mana kan...takdir mengatasi segalanya. jgn kata i tak berusaha! i did...even sblm anyone sumbat FM ke my baby, i insist to hold my baby, and paksa dia hisap jugak mrs b...dgn harapan dpt stimulate la kan...tp mmg takde hasil....takpelah. dlm kepala i pikir positif...esok2 adela rezeki anak i....cuma i kene kuatkan semangat....
• for lunch, I had nasi putih + singgang ikan ape ntah yg fresh dr laut courtesy pokteh + sup sawi

Night 2

• dinner pulak nasi putih + cencaru bakar + sup sawi
• Fikri (hub's friend) and wife, Jane together with their adorable son, Rayyan came to visit...byk tips yg diorang share....infact masa tgh pregnant and air ketuban pecah pon tanye diorg....hiks! diorg dtg siap hadiahkan bag lagi...comel beg tu! ;)
• Nurin berjaya tidur dgn nyenyak unlike the night before. she woke up only once at 3.30am for milk and diaper change right after...tp dh pagi tu rase bersalah pulak sbb tak kejutkan dia every 2 hours for milk...sbb baby kan patut byk menyusu kan.....tp juga rasa gembira and bangga sbb berjaya went through the night with nurin alone, tanpa ganggu tidur mak or hubs...;)

Day 3

• pagi tu, urut lagi.....same routine..and kesedapan masih same....hikhik.....mcm nk mintak urut 44 hari je terus...hahaha...melampau!
• ptg tu, tetibe nurse from KK called, said they'd like to come over to visit mom n baby
• dlm kol 3, diorg sampai....3 of them...they checked me first. since i dh kencing before they came, x dpt la nk check urine. move on to check my BP, mata, leher, breast and kaki for oedema....entah ek...sejak bersalin, kaki i masih bengkak lg....takde la segemuk masa end of pregnancy...tp bengkak la jugak....
• after dh check mommy, check baby lak...they checked her physical and reflex response, alhamdulillah, all good...unfortunately, they claimed my baby mcm ade jaundice (kuning) and adviced us to go to KK for further check up the very next day. hati adelah sgt risau..... :(
• masih mencuba utk breastfeed, tp tak berjaya..pump pon tarak hasil....Nurin on FM the whole day

Night 3

• kawan mak dtg...tp x kenal siapa....
• Nurin managed to sleep well....infact, she slept too well...mmg baby yg ade jaundice, akan asik tidur jeeee....I yg risau sbb dia tak bangun utk susu..jaundice bb kene selalu diberi susu, kalau boleh 2 jam sekali...so that dia byk poo and pee, maka kuningnye pon akan kurang...therefore, i tried to kejutkan dia....i usik2 pipi dia, cuit sana sini, tak jln...dia just kerut2, or tido jeeeeee..dekat sejam i tried...i dh risau amat...siap kejutkan hubs mintak dia kejutkan nurin...last berjaya jugak bangunkan dia....rupenye nk kejut baby, cubit tapak kaki dia....tp nurin ni, org cucuk jarum kt kaki pon dia dek je tido..... -____-

Our Bundle of Joy ~ Presenting Our Little Princess

Name : Nurin Balqis binti Mohd Afiq

D.O.B : Monday, October 3rd, 2011, 7.58am (5 Zulkaedah 1432)

P.O.B : Hospital Sultan Ismail, Johor Bahru

Weight : 2.39 kg

Height : 46 cm

Mode of Delivery : SVD (Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery)

She started to open her eyes as soon as 7 hours after birth! :)

da lame x main futsal