Infection

I was discharged yesterday at 5pm
been spending 5 days hospitalized
since Wednesday
due to prolonged fever for the past 2 weeks

the kind of super high fever up to 40.2 deg with shivering
luckily I made the right decision to go to the hospital on that day
as my white blood cells (WBC) counts exceeds the normal range significantly
mine was 29000 while normal range is less than 12000 (if Im not mistaken)

u may google up on WBC for more info
as for my case, it seems like there's some infection on my blood
and guess what?
It was due to the recurrent mastitis!!!

so mommies....
If you're having the same prob as mine
which is recurrent breast engorgement, followed by high fever
and I had finished 3 courses of antibiotics
prescribed by doctors from the general clinic
but the symptoms still anticipate,
please please please go to the specialist

as for me, I called up my gynae @ my uncle
and he asked me to go straight to the hospital and meet him
he examined me, my mrs b and did a thorough scan
he doubt that Im having mastitis as mrs b were tender at that moment
so he ordered a Full Blood Count (FBC)
and explains the result, thus admitted me right away for septic workout

those first 3 days were the terrible
I'll be down with fever at any time
and it straight away spiked to 39deg++
never less than that
which makes me shiver to my spine
when Im fine, Im my usual self, happily expressing milk
for my dear baby whom I've never seen since wednesday

yeah...I still pump though I'm having fever
I still let her drink my milk even Im on antibiotics
many said it's not ok to feed ur bb when u're down with fever
but I had consulted the specialists, and they said it was OK
so no worries

after 4days of Augmentin BD,
no more fever
I was discharged after Im free from fever for 24 hours

now, Im already at home
healthy and happy to see my baby
However, it was only 5 days since I last saw her
but she has changed!!!! a lot!
she's more 'mesra', chirpy, reacts more to whatever u said to her
but the bad part, she starts to bite!!!!!
Oucccchhhh!!!!!
4 months, and she's already teething???
so early huh?

Unwell and Moved Out!

I was unwell since the last post
nampaknya, bukan Nurin shj yg suka main Peek-A-Boo dgn I
Mastitis too!!!

bermula dgn kiri, bhgn atas - surut on wed
beralih ke bhgn bawah, masih pd mrs B kiri - surut on friday
igt dh ok

tetibe selasa, kene belah kanan pulak
demam, tak usah cerita laaaa
dan dan bengkak, dan dan la temp tak pernah bawah 38 deg
kekadang smpai menggigil

so dekat 2 minggu ni,
I totally relied on painkillers and antibiotik yg sebeban tu
dh 3 jenis antibiotik i telan (sbb 3 kali jumpe doc)

the last one, baru jumpe gynae
doc siap scan mrs b
takut ade puss or whatsoever
syukur, semua clear

Alhamdulillah, I felt at my best today
walau last night taktidur nyenyak
coz Nurin agak renyah, I felt good waking up this morning
dh 2 minggu kot dok demam tak abis2
rasa loser gile sbb tak dpt nk jaga Nurin sgt
hanay attend dia bile dia lapar je
kalau x, mmg hubs or sesiapa je yg ade berhampiran lah yg jadi 'dayang' Nurin

oh yes, we finally moved out last monday
exactly on the Lunar New Year
Alhamdulillah, everything went well
adik beradik hubs byk membantu
Nurin, awal² I dh pass ke MIL utk jaga
so that I can help while we move out too

so far, tinggal di rumah baru, I masih rasa janggal
seumur hidup, tak pernah duduk rumah 2 tingkat
tak pernah duduk rumah corner lot
yg tingkapnye banyak!

dh la I ni jenis pump tgh mlm,
nk tak nak, kena la turun utk simpan the EBM
tu yg I lemah
coz, I ni PENAKUT tahap gaban
sbb bilik I pernah dimasuki pencuri masa kt UM dulu
India tu siap tepuk² tangan I suruh tidur balik lagi
tu yg sampai skrg, I trauma tahap asik terbayang² ade org masuk umah
or ade org perhatikan I dr luar
seram!

I know, eventually I have to get used to it
buat masa ni, hubs sgt membantu
kalau I kena turun, he will tag along
just for the sake of making me feel secured

most of the time, we stayed in our room
TV pon dlm bilik
kat bwh xde TV pon
blom amik kt umah mama
so org dtg, mmg tgk dinding je la jwabnye...miahahah

eh eh...TV tu pon takde siaran
baru kelmarin hubs beli Antenna yg indoor berharga 5.90 kt tesco
bersungguh dia pasang
tp yg dapat, hanyalah siaran Spore
Channel Msia, satu pon tak dpt

nk pasang aerial yg atas bumbung tu,
takde satu pon kedai lektrik area Masai ni yg dh bukak as for semlam
so buat masa ni, redha je lah
Astro, baru daftar smlm
tu pon daftar dgn dealer yg ade bukak booth kt Tesco
tu pon katanya, lg 10 hari baru pasang
nampaknye, kena cari port utk tgk AJL

ape lagi nk cerita eh
byk...
tp nnt2 la eh

ni pon update kt ofis
tenet kt umah tak dpt!
P1 langsung takde signal kt umah tu
menci betol!
so terpaksa tanya jiran² diorg pakai ape...

Mastitis

I'm having another fair share of mastitis
after the first one which was 9 days after labour

it all started on sunday night
tgh tidur tu, tetibe rasa mcm tgn kiri agak susah nk gerak
at d same time, terasa mrs b kiri cam berat
I dunno y I didnt wake nurin up to feed her
but i get up, and express milk at 3.30am
unfortunately, hasil x berapa memberansangkan

felt tired and exhausted, I slept in
and bear with the pain
masa ni tak skt sgt lagi

so monday tu, gi keje dgn rasa tidak selesa pd mrs b kiri
tp x sesakit masa yg kena dlm pantang dulu
so terus kan keje
sempat jumpe doc kt kilang
and he prescribed me with painkillers and antibiotics
terus ilang sakit bile mkn ubt

but the thing is, the lump, masih terasa
mmg kompem ade clogged milk duct nih
dh try urut, tp x jln
bile pump, susu yg dihasilkan, mmg kurang dr biasa
tp masih ok

monday night, mule menggigil
demam tahap dewa dewi
jejak 39.8 degrees
nk pegang hp, text bos nk btau MC pon xdpt

masa MC tu, I slept straight dr kol 1.45 smpai kol 7
punye la pengsan
eh. tp x pengsan sgt
sbb kekdang tu gigil
solat asar pon kol 7
nasib baik maghrib masuk lambat skrg

now, demam dh surut
tp mrs b kiri, masih belom back to normal
ade lump pd pangkal mrs b kiri

now Im not sure is it becoz of clogged milk duct
or ade clogged pd nipple
sbb sejak isnin, bile nurin df, she takes longer utk kenyang
selalunya, dia cuma df 5-10 mins max
tp skrg, dekat setgh jam....
mcm x kenyang2
nmpak dia mcm struggle skit masa hisap tu

nk jumpe gynae,
I'm pretty sure, the same advice yg i akan dpt
which is frequent nurse
plus, malas sebenarnya nk g hospital

tp yg teramat2 merunsingkan,
hasil ebm yg I dpt hasilkan for a day, drop 50%!!!!!
sedih sgt.....
nasi baik mmg ade stok lebih skit
so boleh cover
tapi tu cume oleh tahan berapa hari je

haih
pening
dh la sakit, susu lak merudum
maybe nk kena panggil org urut
tgk camne nnt

Demam yg amat!

tak dpt nk teruskan entry day by day...
ni pon dh 2 hari xsentuh laptop....
fb pon x sentuh
demam yg maha hebat...

sedih gila rase sebab terpaksa susahkan mak n hubs
nurin pon dh 2 mlm tdo ngan mak
mlm ni pon...

skrg dh rase sihat sikit...
tp masih jejak 38degrees...

hopefully by esok sembuh betol2...
sbb dh janji nk bwk nurin tdo umah atok n tok mama dia....

jiayou fana!!!!
kuatkan semangat!!!!


p/s: dlm pd i tgh kesakitan, they made a decision without asking me, her mother....they just blindly listened to what others said....luluh rasa hati ni tiap kali nurin disumbat dgn 'benda' tu..... :(

Hari yg sedih

Hari ke 4
Saya tidak puasa

Entah mana silap nye,
Sampai ofis awal semalam
Around 7.40am
Sbb the night before, tido umah mak
So pagi tu kuar cam biasa masa bulan tak puasa

Tgh drive tu I mmg dh rase lain mcm
Perut ni mcm sebu ke ape ntah
Smpai ofis, cek email jap
Tetibe rase perut bergelodak
Cam angin tolak²
Cepat² lari ke toilet
Konon nk muntah
Tapi kuar air je (note: pagi tu sahur nasi goreng)

Dok balik kt desk
Tak smpai 5 minit, lari balik ke toilet
Again, air je kuar
3 kali dok ulang alik gitu
I dh tak sedap hati

Kepala pon dh start cenoneng
Dada la berdebar semacam
Tgn pon dh berpeluh²
Terpikir, am I getting dehydrated?

Taknak pikir panjang
Tgk computer pon cam blank je
Decide nk kuar gi klinik
Bitau supervisor, dia ok je

Dlm tgh drive tu smpt terpikir,
Kalau gi wat checkup kt KK pon ok gak nih
Tak payah amik cuti ari lain
So gi KK Masai, amik nombor,
Timbang, cek BP, urine
oh oh! at 7 month, genap 10kg berat I naik!!!
whoooopppppppsssiieeeee!

Then while tunggu turn urk jumpe nurse,
I cabut gi klinik panel utk dpt kan MC

And betol la
BP I agak low
Muka pon pucat doc ckp
Tgk mulut pon cam dh dehydrated
Doc risaukan baby
So scan jap
Alhamdulillah, baby ok
Dia cam slow skit, tp ok

As a precaution, doc advise buka puasa
I pon rasa I mmg tak dpt tahan dh by then
So kuar dr klinik tu,
singgah 7e, beli soya bean
and maka, berbuka lah saya pd pukul 11 lebih tu.... -____-
sedih...tapi tak nak tanggung any bigger risk for myself and our dear baby
takpe lah….
Redha je….

Pas dh minum tu, mkn ubat
Then shoot balik ke KK Masai
Continue checkup

Semua seems ok
Cume ade sikit edema on my ankle
So nurse advice naikkan kaki sikit bile duduk n baring
Lain², xde ape
Masa tu pon I dh mcm letih
Malas nk tanya itu ini

Setel tu, otw balik, terpikir nk makan bubur
Singgah today’s, beli ayam and sayur
Balik, terus masak bubur ayam campur bayam
Alhamdulillah, sedap….. 

Mmg buat lebih sikit,
Petang tu hantar bubur umah mak
Utk diorg rase time buka

Tu je la citer hari TAK puasa ke-4


p/s: dh la semalam hujan je the whole morning kt sini...tu yg rasa sedihhh je.....

not well

at the clinic!
'________'

I'm down with fever last night
I was well all along
sempat mkn nasi lemak by mak (MIL)
oh yeah. we had a sleepover at mak's place last night
as dear myPerson went off for futsal with his friends,
I stay at home, watching Kayangan

habis je Kayangan, I rasa mcm seram sejuk
satu badan tetiba mcm sakit2
sengal2.....
rasa nk kene demam urat...

sempat text myPerson, and doze off
sedar2 ade org kiss dahi, with a glass of water on a hand and a pill on the other

pastu, I had trouble sleeping
pusing sini tak kena, pusing sana tak kena
myPerson being such a sweetheart, urut sana sini
kesian dia...tak pepasal dia pon tak dpt nk tdo
kejap2, i terjaga, tgk dia pon terjaga
he'll usap2, tepuk2 i mcm bobok kan baby :)
love u syg!

and pagi ni, he initially took half day off
konon nk hantar i g klinik
tp mak offered to bring me
so instead of following us, he stayed home
tau2, dia amik cuti terus! :)

so td g klinik, ngan mak
nothing serious
just demam biasa
but with ulcers all over my mouth,
it makes it slightly worse la

and yeah
I've been introduced to folic acid
one of the much needed vitamins for those yg trying to conceive
nk tau kebaikan dia, google sendiri la k

k lah
pening dah
nk tidoooooooo

hopefully, by the time myPerson got back from solat,
I'll be ok
nak balikkkkkkkk
eh nk g tesco dulu
nk beli groceries sikit

n kalau dh betol ok,
untung2, dpt tgk khurafat tonight!
;)

ketumbit!

on medical leave for 2 days
kene ni

 ni gamba mlm sabtu

as for last night, bwh mata tu mmg biru...cam lebam kene tumbuk!

selalu ketumbit ni kene kt bhgn atas mata
but this time, merasa laaa kene kt bwh
fuuuhhhh..sakit gile...
mata pon cam terkenyit2 je...
pipi pn berdenyut2
kepala mule pening because my sight is kinda blurry
nk drive pon x berani

sakit dia, sakit yg mcm lebam kena tumbuk
berdenyut sgt
ceh mcm la pernah rase kene tumbuk kan?!

actually, kene ni since saturday lg
tp konon bole tahan laaa
but last night, bile bgn dr baring, rase cam dunia ni berpusing
so decided nk g klinik
mintak akak hantarkan
sbb ade org tu, bola lagi penting kan
nasib laaaaa...

so g klinik
doc nk korek
i tak bagi
i takuuuuuuuuuuttt
mata kot!

so dpt antibiotik n other meds n 2 days of mc
hrp2 surut la yea



kite ni kalau sakit, mmg la kalau boleh taknak susahkan org
apetah lgi kalau org tu sndiri mmg tak sudi nk amek tau kan
so, be independant fana!
jgn nk mengade mengharap org!
selagi nyawa msih ade, cari alternatif sendiri!
jgn jadi bodoh!
jgn jadi bimbo!~



p/s: lately ni byk case bakal pengantin hilangkan diri kn? korang pernah terfikir tak?
p/p/s: smlm 24....of cos la dia x igt kn....byk lg yg kononnye lbih baik utk diigt....it meant nothing anyway.... '_'

again???

sakit!
this time around, Gastricitis!

OMG!

mama said i looked like a heavily preggo lady
why?
i tends to put my hand on my tummy everytime i move
from sit to stand
from stand to sit
from sit to lying down
u get the drill rite?

i HAVE to hold my tummy
i just had to
or else, i rase mcm perut ni nk terburai
mcm nk tercicir...
sakit gile
mcm dinding perut tu kene cakar2 dr dlm!
pedih. sakit.

muntah?
tak yah citer laaa
ntah bape kali dahhh
tiap kali batuk, nk muntah
but still, i try continue my puasa

who am i to complain kn?
redha je laa

smlm dh g clinic
did get some meds n of course mc for the day
tapi cam tak jln je meds tu

i did thought of going to hospital
tapiiiiiii, i'm very sure that if i did
they'll admit me!
tak nak!!!!

spend my ramadhan in the ward?
serious tak nak
sape nk masak kt umah?
sape nk jage mama?
i can't. at least not on this holy month

so the solution?
bertahan!
smpai hujung nyawa. if possible!



p/s: everytime i fell sick, it's the same. no changes. no attention. again. who am i to complain? i'm nothing. i should know by now.

dugaan and differences

I hate to admit this
but it really seems like it


sejak tunang ni
both of us, asik sakit je
i tak perasan..but my colleague did
she said "fana n afiq ni, sakit asek jangkit2 je.."
tu laaa...kalau dia sakit, nnt tak lama pastu, i lak kene
tak demam, semput
tak semput, gastrik la ape laa
no major sickness laaa
yg biase2 je
but it really took a toll on us
dh la sakit, ditambah lagi dgn sakit hati

the thing, as for myPerson,
dia kalau sakit, dia suke bersendiri
he did informed me dia sakit, and of cos la i mule risau and all
asek call or text him, asking his condition
he didn't like it. at all.
he'd prefer to be left alone...

i tried to understand
yeap.he needs to rest. i did get it
buttttt...i got so worried...mane bole dok diam jee
name je keje...tapi hati and pikiran tu asek kt dia je...camne tu?
tu yg bole jadi gaduh tuuu
sorg nk rest, sorg lg asek risau...camne tu?????

as for me, on the other hand
i tak suke dibiar 'rest'
u get what i mean?
kalau bole i nak dia slalu dgn i
tak perlu ade physically sebelah i,
but at least, let me feel like he is. (faham tak?)

dh sakit kn, haruslaaa nk extra attention dr org tersayang kan
butttt, he treat me mcm dia yg sakit
kn dia kalau sakit, nk bersendirian kan
haaa..tu la dia...he'll just leave me alone, expecting me to 'rest'
ape lagi, of cos la drama akan bermulaaaa
mule la rase dia tak sayang la,baik mati je la, ape la..(read: drama queen mode)
serius..mase tu mmg rase sedih sgt...
dia mcm endah tak endah je dgn i
mmg la sesekali dia akan col or msg tanya kabar and all
tp sesekali jeee....
to me yg tgh sakit ni, tak cukuppppp
bak kata dia, "semua pon tak cukup..." (sedih)

we're getting married
skrg ni mase sakit, berjauhan
nnt dh kawen, bile sakit, we're in a home, together
apekah bile dia sakit, i kene keluar dr rumah?
jauh kan diri, supaya dia dpt 'rest'?
i tak nak...
i nak selalu by his side...and i really hope that applies to him too

one of the (many) reasons ppl got married
is to go through THICK and THINS together
bukan hanye mase SENANG...tp juga mase SUSAH
and I'm looking forward to that

tapi if this got prolonged,
i harus mengalah
i don't want it to take a toll on our marriage pulak nnt
cukup la dh sakit...jgn ditambah lak dgn sakit hati
someone has to give in

bende ni mmg nmpak kecik
tapi impact dia....sgt BESAR
weather i like it or not, I have to sit and think hard on it
sampai bile nk macam ni kan?

yes, mmg biasenye, our spouse nye characters are different from us
and that is when u COMPLETE each other
tp if those differences, could risk ur marriage
u ought to do something about it

as for my case,
I'll change.
I folloooowwwww....... (read: sinar fm mode)


p/s: I'm not complaining...just letting things out of my chest..I'm sure ramai yg lalui bende ni kan...how u all get through it yeah?

Hiccups?

pernah kene tak?
i mean yang tersedu2 tu....

well, i got it last night
sgt annoying ok
setiap 10 saat, tersedu...penat!
seriously
org dulu2, kate kononnye nk membesar
i guess that only applies for babies la kan
dh 25 thn ni, nk membesar ape nye?????
jangaaaaaaannnn laaaa...pleaseeeee..
hik!

neway, i did tried to hold my breath
5 saat, 6 saat, 7 saat, 8, 9....Hik!
it comes back again
mama kate amek piece of newspaper, jilat, tampal kat dahi
uh uuhh..doesnt work
ayah kate, makan gula...
dekat 1 teaspoon of sugar i telan
hik! still there

I even ask my sister to 'surprise' me
ade org kate, kalau kite terperanjat, it will go
tp of cos la tak menjadi kan

then, again, I tried to hold my breath
this time, with my both jari telunjuk tutup lubang hidung of each side of the nose
and ibu jari tutup telinga
and of coz, tutup mulut juga
kirenye mcm keep the pressure
tahan for about 8 secs

voila!
no more hiccups!!!!


tu je nk share.....
hik!

Rezeki Bertunang

remember this
the one when I got admitted a day after my engagement day?

well, somehow, apparently, it wasn't all that bad
infact, I made money out of it
yeap...u read it right
I did made money
RM1200 to be precise!!!
wooo hoooo....sape nk bg duit gitu macam tu je kannnn
heeeeeeeeee


the secret????
again, insured yourself babeyh!!!!
as for me, yg amek PruBSN Takaful
I'm entitled for daily allowance of 200 per day!!!
so 200 x 6 days of hospitalisation......jd laaaa RM1200
seronoookkk...dua ronokkk beronok-ronoookkk (me n my sister's joke!)


and yeap
2 weeks ago, cheque tu dh clear

it's tad a bit late
patutnye dlm a month dh boleh dpt
but for my case, ntah nape lambat

takpe laaa

yg penting.....dapat...
syukurrrr





p/s: if I knew it earlier, I would never request for discharge on my 6th day tuuuu....heheehehee...mata duitan betol!

Another 'Fruitful' cuti

this was last Tue (8/6)
ade appointment ngan dentist aritu
nk cabut jahitan
awal2 mmg dh btau myPerson
and it's very sweet of him to amik cuti and temankan i

well, that's not the only purpose of us took the day off from work
byk yg dpt kami settlekan aritu
syukur

first off, he came by at 7.30,
terus shoot ke Pekan Rabu
wat his passport

lame gileeee, as expected
the whole morning habis kat imigresen je
but those 4 hours, tak terasa sgt when u're accompanied by ur loved ones

provided u had the best seat
which is at the back,
and boleh sandar senang lenang
ngeh

settle wat passport
had our lunch
something happened mase lunch
somehow, I have to be 'mengade' sbb takleh makan sembarangan
since tooth extraction, I blom pernah mkn solid food
aritu pon mkn nasi dua sudu and kuah sup yg berlondang
lenyek2 nasi tu, then baru mkn
i dah tahap say NO tu bubur
bosan!


next, off to Pejabat Agama

to get our borang permohonan nikah
we had to wai awhile as diorg bukak kaunter 2.15
so tunggu dlm 15 minit
all in all, settle...no fuss

dh beli borang, singgah balik Pekan Rabu
to collect his passport

next, ke Klinik Kesihatan kempas
for HIV test

boy, it was a jiffy
within 20 minits, settle
kejap je
alhamdulillah...

by then, dah kol 4
i haven't go to the dentist yet, remember?
gamble, pegi je
smpai2, dh kol 4.20
hospital tutup kol 5

i wat cerita sedih, bodek2 sikit
yes....they accepted me
lagipon nk wat STO je
n yes, within 5 minits, I'm done!

by then dlm 4.40
received a call, regarding a very important part of our future
syukur alhamdulillah
semua ok
but we need to go there to settle the other parts
off we went, and voila,
another mission accomplished
before we went back,
had our favourite naan cheese near JJ...
my first ever solid meal ever since 2/6...sedap!

alhamdulillah
dpt wat passport, beli borang nikah, wat HIV test and stitch off
all in one day
syukur.

Wisdom Tooth Extraction

This morning, I went for the above procedure

How was it?
Honestly, the procedure itself, tak sakit pon
as it is a minor surgery,
local anesthesia is involved
tapi masa dia jab tu, sakit la jugak
asek dok cucuk je kan

but its all worth it (i mean the jabs)
coz it will numb the whole area
as for my case, the whole right area of my mouth is numb!
rase bengkak semacam je
so mase dia dok cuba nk pull out the tooth tu,
tak rase sakit
ape dia buat pon i tak tau
dok pejam mata kuat2 smpai taksedar air mata dok leleh,
tangan pon dok genggam baju smpai renyuk gile
ntah la...bukannye sakit
tapi the sound of all the whatever yg dia pakai tu
it really sounds.....painful!

Alhamdulillah
I did manage to calm myself throughout the procedure
setakat time bayar bill, amek ubat
sume ok lagi
tp dlm kete je, I started to feel lightheaded
sampai umah, cepat2 mkn ubat (antibiotics and pain killers)
the bius mcm dh nk hilang
mule rase sakit kepale and denyut2 kt gusi tu

darah, toksah cakap
kalau tadah, mau secawan darah dapat
the thing is, I tak boleh baring or sujud
I realised, everytime i bgn dr tido or after solat,
darah membuak

gauze yg dia bg dh laa sikit
nasib ayah volunteer nk g beli kan
for now, masih berdenyut
tapi I bole tahan

yg tak bole tahan...LAPAR!!!!
last meal I had was karipap at 10am this morning!
mau nye aku tak kebulur!
tapi takut nk makan....
ni makan ubat pon rase darah...
bluerghhhhhhhh

harap2 la bleeding ni temporary je
lagi bagus kalau esok takde bleeding lagi
at least i can have yogurt drinks
takdela kebulur kan

btw, I'm expecting myself to shed off 2 kilos!
ngeehhhh...
so much of looking thing from the bright side!
harap2 bole!

oh..did I mention I'm on medical leave for 3 days?
sabtu cuti, ahad cuti
5 hari dok bongkang!!!
yeayyyyyyyy

tapi 8/6 ni kene dtg balik
bukak jahitan
and maybe, if i'm brave enough,
i'll pull out my top wisdom tooth pulak
tgk lah mcm mane nnt
tp base on hari ni,

TOBATTAKNAKCABUTGIGILAGI




p/s: I'm waiting for someone to come by mlm ni...sbb dia ade mention nk dtg...tapi, mcm tak akan dtg je....hmmmmm..let's see..

lepas satu...satu...darah manis kah?

haih...
I did not know what went wrong
tapi tu laaa...lepas satu...satu
sejak tunang, asek sakit je...
not just me....

myPerson pon same
not that I'm complaining, tapi mcm kerap sgt la pulak
anyway, I'm still bersyukur with what I have
orang lain, dugaannye lagi berat....
Nazubillah...

anyway, yesterday
mase dok tgh ralit tenung .net,
mata I ni dok berair
I thot its normal
maybe sbb strained ke ape kan
ye laaaa, rase nye 3 jam kot i tak beralih dr screen pc
so I decided to jln2 kt luar

mane tau, kuar je, nmpak matahari
berdenyut2 mata kiri ni
mcm nk tercabut pon ade
air mata, takyah ckp laaa
meleleh mcm org mati laki

kol 3 lebih, I decided to blk
drive pon smbil tutup sblh mata
smpai umah, terus bukak lense
cari eye drop, tak jumpe

makin mlm, makin berdenyut
takleh jadi ni
nk gi klinik sndr, tak berani nk drive
takkan nk suruh mama drive kan? erk!
so mintak tlg myPerson

syukur ade dia
pas maghrib tu, dia sampai
bwk I gi klinik

sepanjang2 tu mmg dok kenyit sblh mata je
not kenyit laaa...tp mmg mata kanan tu cam dh melekat jeee
serius tak leh bukak
mesti org kate aku ni menggatal
dok kenyit!ngeh...

neway, now dh ok
but no contacts for couple of days
kene antibiotik, ok laa kan
dh boleh bukak la mata kanan ni
tapi still  x bape selesa
hrp2, kejap je laa skt ni

xnk sakit2 lagi!!!!!

sblm balik, sempat lagi wat i ketawa

Thank U dear...
xoxo

26 Apr - 1st May

hah
baru nk update pasal admission hari tu
btw, yeap, I got admitted 2 days after I got engaged
dah sakit dr pagi majlis lagi
tapi tahannnnn jeee

so I'm not gonna cerita pnjg
juz ltak gamba sekitar 6 hari warded tu
and citer skit2

bile temperature dah mcm ni,

baru rase cuak tak igt

maka, serah diri kt spital

bed ok laaaa

selesa gileee

lg pon i keje sini kn

layanan harus la tip top ;-)

oh yes
doc kate I kene high fever
due to gums infection
gara2 wisdom tooth yg tak tumbuh habis
maka plaque terselit, n tak dpt dibersihkan
n jd infection

so dlm 6 hari tu, i dpt 8 different types of oral aid
and here are some of it

fyi, i was consulted by 3 different doctors sepnjg 6 hari tu
a physician, a general surgeon and a dentist
semua gara2 ulcers yg beranak pinak dlm mulut
ade kt gums, tekak and langit2
memang seksa
i refuse to talk and eat!
sbb mmg malas gile nk bukak mulut

bile gosok gigi lagi laaa
mcm gosok darah!
sbb my gums cam fragile gile

sepnjg kat sana walau tak bape nk mkn
i tetap gak order meals
rugi wooo tak order
balik2 i order meehun sup je laa
i minum sup dia jeee
lain, buang!
tapi sedap!!!

for breakfast, i order toast n egg
toast letak tepi, i mkn the soft boiled egg jeeee
so konsepnye, i mkn mknn yg takyah gigit
telaaaannn terus

tapi ade sekali tu
kakak n girl masak kan bubur ayam
byk tulang2...sedap gileee
hah...mase tu, i spray habis2an mulut ni
kasi kebas semua
n melantak!!!!!
tgk tulang2 yg i mkn tuuuu

n of cos, sepnjg kat sane
ayah, mama, kakak, girl setia bergilir2 dtg lawat
tp ayah n girl, kalau dtg,
kompem keje nye, menghabiskan mknn i,

and then.....tido!!!!

tak lupe gak myPerson who is by then myNEWLYfiance
sanggup meredah malam, dtg lawat
n layan karenah i ni

dan juge tak lupe,
my Future MIL and future SIL
terharu!!!!!

thanx semuaaa!!!!!

anyway, walaupon dh discharge ni

my suffering episode does not ends here

I'm due for tooth extraction on this coming 2nd June
I chose to do it @ HSI

suke tak suke, gigi ku harus di cabut

or else, akan sakit lagiii

berdebar gile nk tunggu 2/6 tu

cause the procedure requires LA (local anaesthesia)

so kire minor surgeri laaa

harap2 semuanye berjln lancar

Amin.

Warded

haih..
tak dpt nk update lg pasal simple but memorable day tu

unfortunately, now I'm warded
kt spital sendiri
so kalau boring, turun gi ofis, wat keje
taklarat nk tenung keje, online laaaa..ape lagi
hehehehe

ni pon o9 sbb akak beria nk test wi-fi

neway, nape I'm warded?
citer ni ade kaitan dgn hari bersejarah tu
tapi nk dipendekkan citer,
I have extremely high fever
paling tinggi dpt is 39.7!
normal is 36.9 ye kawan2...

insyaAllah, bukan H1N1 or denggi
the diagnosis is yet to be confirmed tomorrow
probably ade kaitan dgn oral/mulut
ape pon, I hope for the best
nnt I update lgi k


p/s: tghari td 'tunanganku' (auwww) dtg melawat bersama mak dan kakaknye...my first visitor tu!

10.03.10

@ approximate 11.15 am
I received a 'death sentence'
to make things worst
I have to face it alone

I don't know how to face the world anymore
how to carry on a 'normal' life

i don't know
eversince, i can't stop crying
suppose to rest for a week
but i refuse

dok kt umah lagi la buat i fikir mcm2
so lebih baik gi je office
walaupon tak buat keje sgt
but at least, i can still try to distract myself

p/s: pandai buat, pandai la tanggung kan?

ouch!

haih
sakit giler
pedih sgt2
tapi terpaksa tahan

tak bitau sesape pon
sbb takut
tp td terrrrbitau someone
nyesal pon ade
sbb no point
tapi tak tau la nape boleh terlepas jugak
3 hari bole tahan sendiri
nape arini leh terlepas eh?
dh la dgn cara yg tak sepatutnye
haih
bende dh jadik kan
nk wat camne?
so skrg, ape patut saya buat?
nk gi doc?
kalo rahsia pecah, macam mane?
damn!
tapi dah tak tahan sgt ni....
 
p/s: google doesn't help much.

Relapse

experienced one yesterday
Probably because of too stressed out
or too tired
or maybe because I didnt eat?
biar lah

anyway, awak
terima kasih yea
saya tau saya ckp jangan
tapi awak tau lebih baik kan
thank you for today
mcm la awak baca ni kann
hah

ntah la eh
sometimes, i rasa mcm nk give up
tp, later on, bile i pikir balik,
yes, maybe mmg ade seorang yg tak perlukan i
yang rasa i ni tak penting bagi dia
tapi masih ade yg lain yg perlukan i
masih ade yang rase i ni penting

so utk yg masih bertahan
walaupon ade org kata takde sape yg boleh tahan dgn i
and diorang bertahan pon sbb terpakse ke ape
well, i'll still try my best
to make my self live
at least for today

tapi takdir Allah, sapa yg tau kan?
biar la ape doktor nk ckp,
i lagi percaya pada takdir
kalau esok, esok laaa...
redha. berserah je la.

Dead Man Walking

thats what I am this morning
Couldnt get much sleep last night
been forcing myself not to gobble any pills
and let the nature takes its course

and of course
it's taking a toll on me
I'm practically a walking zombie today
mane taknye, 4.20 am, I am still wide awake
sampai abes bateri PSP i keje kan

I know
mesti many of you just couldn't get it
well, I didn't expect you to
its my issue
and I'm not FORCING you to cure it
but a lil unserstanding might help in a long run
adding more problems, is a BIG No No

there are a couple of things floating in my mine last night
though I'm getting adrenaline rush on the Need for Speed,
I can't help but to think of...
Who's next????(hanya org tertentu je yg faham ni)
mmg ini takdir Allah
tapi we humans kan, bile dh berkali bende tu berlaku,
ade laa pikir gak kan

pemergian Yin couple of days ago
macam mimpi
I masih belom dapat terima kenyataan sepenuhnye
yes, I redha....but
somehow, I masih harap ni semua mimpi
and bile I bangun, dia tengah merengek ajak I shopping
which of course, is impossible

haih
I am in no position to mengeluh or whatsoever
byk sgt masalah sekarang ni
nk gi jogging pon dh takde mood
tambah lagi ngan the-time-of-the-month
sakit gilerrrrr...sampai takleh dok tegak
muntah...tok sah ckp laaaa
bape kali dahhhhh

come to think of it,
am I next???
if it is, will anyone miss me?


p/s: janji is a janji. tapi mcm janji tu takde makna ape ape pon...smpai skrg takde bunyi pape pon...senyap je RedHOT....