I don't need to justify myself

lama tak update
tup tup
dh tinggal 15 hari till we tie the knot
esok, dh tinggal 2 weeks
oh gosh!

things seem to fell into place now
no more time to plan new things now
so I'll just go with the flow

and yeah...there are changes here and there prior to the wedding
which i couldnt careless anymore
seriously, redha je
and things getting more and more like "Our marriage, THEIR wedding"
biaaaarr laaaaaaaa

and I promised myself to just smile on it
tak kesah la whatever turned up on that day,
I'll just smile
yg penting, semoga akad kami berjalan lancar
yg lain, belakang kire

smlm, dah start distribute card among colleagues and bosses
and as expected, I've been getting some 'funny' reactions upon knowing I'm getting married
as from most of the chinese, it would be "Whoaaa..U're getting married liao ah???"
I'm 25, for malays, its a common age to get hitched
but not for (some) chinese
infact, to them, 30 pon kire masih awal... ngeeeeeeee

yg melayu lak
sibuk tanye bape lame cuti
dh tu diikuti lak ngan soklan kepoh berbau honeymoon kt mane
ah ah ah
tak suke soklan ni
sebab sebab sebab....erm...sentap sikit bab ni
sebab sebab sebab...we have no plans for this

we're in such a tight budget
mane dgn majlis
daily expenses lagi
and of course, our crib
which demands a (hell) lot of moolah
so, honeymoon or hornymoon or whatever u name it, is not in our list
at least not for now la

mmg dulu ade la berangan nk gi sana, gi sini
berangan kan best
so bile berangan tu, mmg nk up up je...
siap dh survey² kt mane yg best
the price, the attractions and what not
pfffttttt


tapi, reality check, we're not that 'senang' to spend for that
how i wish money is not an issue for us.... "_"
nk spend on anything, spend je...
tak payah nk pikir, kang ujung bulan aku nk makan ape????
*sigh* *sigh*

however, deep down inside, i do hope we could have a couple of nights getaway
just the two of us, like most newlyweds do
tak dpt legend water chalet kt PD, M-Suite pon jadi laaa
ade sesape nk hadiahkan x? hahaha
coz namenye kami nk spend duit utk tu, mmg tak kot
"_"

nevertheless, knowing that we'll be staying on our own after the wedding,
keeps me sane

ahhhhhhhh...tak dpt honeymoon tempat grand² pon takpe
honeymoon je kt tingkat 8 tu hari² sampai muntah
swimming pool pon ade je kt bawah nun
(someone joked and says, "that's not honeymoon. thats honeystars!" lol)

at the end of the day, tak kesah la mane pon
yg penting, is the companion
kan kan kan?
:-)

our final 20

ade double meaning

first of, its 20th!
our 4th years and 6th months monthversary or whatever u call it
yeah. we I am that cheesy to wish him every freaking month
he, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered with dates
*sigh*

hence its the last time we'll celebrate the 20th
lepas ni, concentrate on the 11th pulak... :)

and coincidently, it marked 20 days to 11th dec
20.freaking.days.
mcm tak percaya.

p/s: girl dh blk puncak alam.. only He knows how i felt. been crying the whole night. :'(

how time flies

I was browsing through some not-so-old pictures

was going through pictures
back when i was still in UM onwards

coz only from UM onwards, I have a digital camera
for those years before that, semua pakai print outs
so takde softcopy la

btw, as i went through the pictures
those amazing 3 years in UM
the lepaks at setabak
the late suppers at abg zul
the gamba bodoh2 in our small rooms in 8th College
the many birthday celebrations
the MEM, the 8thplorace, the FesKina, the Choir, the Piala Nazrin
the entah ape lagi aktiviti yg aku dok menyelit

the camwhoring in DK1 or while waiting for tutorials
even those camwhoring in labs
the once in a while lunch at 12th
the Angklung class
the Cybernite

the (countless) trip to midvalley
the many latenight movies
the trip to Ulu Yam
the trip to Sekinchan
the annual dinners

then dah start keje,
i went back to jb
but took time once a year for mini trips with some friends
to tioman
to a famosa
to redang

and it stopped there
as we moved on with our lives
some has settled down
some has buns in the oven
some in the midst of preps of settling down
not to forget, some having their time of their life

i missed them
i missed those moments

how time flies...
and all this, left me a teary eye.
"_"

22 Days to go

and I'm nervous

1 sec, I felt like.. "cepatla 11 dec"
tak sabar nk mulekan hidup berdua

and the next second,
terus "eh eh..tinggal ** hari je???byk nye tak settle lagi!!!! HELPPPP"


but most of the time
when i got caught in the later thought
I just brushed it off

I 'd prefer to think of our life after wedding (read: marriage life)
gatal? no la
tak payah la nk fikir only on the sexual side
i lebih kpd excited nk hidup bersama
to share everything together
materially, emotionally and spiritually


ni dh ade rumah, lg best berangan
dh fikir, bgn pagi, solat sama2, keluar gi keje sama2
then balik, jumpe kt rumah mak dia dulu
then balik rumah sama2

nnt kalau tak penat, i'll fix us some dinner
tang dinner ni i excited plus nervous sikit
he'd prefer non-rice for dinner
so i kene pandai pelbagai kan menu
meehun sup/goreng, sandwiches, hotdogs, chicken roasts
yong taufu, lempeng, roti jala, cekodok dan mcm2 lagi
oh tak sabar nk masak utk suami... :)

eh eh...tp itu pon, provided that the kitchen utensils cukup laaa
kang dapur gas pon takde, nk masak atas lighter kah?
duh?!

pengorbanan

I'm not a perfect muslim
i admit that
and please do know that everyday is a journey for me to become a better muslim

but please, don't judge me
i did not judge others
i did not put on high hopes on others
i did not expect people to look up on me
as im no perfect
not at all

but you have no right to judge me
only He can
only He has all the right to do so
only He knows what i feel deep down inside

saya malu
betul2 malu
rasa mcm 'ditelanjangkan' di depan org ramai
saya tahu masih byk perkara yg saya jahil
tp itu bukan caranya
bukan.
bukan.
bukan.

saya faham.

of banner and bunting

Oh My Crap!!!!
in less than a month, baru i terhegeh² nk cari gamba for it

remember that i did mention weols dpt free 2 banners
masa beli wedding cards tu?
i ade mention ke?
ntah...tak igt dah

well, caron ade ckp jgn lambat sgt bg gamba
ni dh lg 28 hari
lambat ke tak eh?

smlm, beria godeh laptop
cari gamba
try to edit here and there

fyi, instead of 2 banners
we requested for a banner and bunting each,
so the banner is for my side
the bunting for his side
sbb his reception kn wat kt umah
rase cam tak sesuai lak letak banner kt rumah
that's my opinion laaa

as for my side,
we'll put on my parent's pics
mmg menjadi impian mama and ayah... hiks!
takpe...kasi can!

his side lak, our pics la
i short list a few,
share kt fb with myPerson
and asked him to pick which one he love
and the one he chose, I loved it too!

no.not this pic. kedudukan kaki ku sungguh tak sopan

so td ni mase lunch time,
smpat mengarang email to caron
smbil type, smbil tawakal hope all this is not too late
panjang email i
siap bg details, nk ayat mcm mane
kaler ape, taknak sarat and all
gile demanding aku nih! (baru tau?)

after i'd sent the email,
i gave caron a call
surprisingly, she still remembers far.ha.na
ahaks! tak sure igt yg baik or yg tak bape best
ye laa...throughout process buat kad, mmg i byk call and mail her
betolkan itu ini...hahahaha
tu yg dia igt kot! hiks!

so for now, kite tunggu dan tawakal
supaya hasilnye memberansangkan
InsyaAllah


p/s: dh dpt kad jemputan ceq rose...anyone going? I sure am. InsyaAllah

DoorGift for kids

suda setel
berkat kegigihan n kesabaran my dear sister and i
sanggup berpanasan di kedai borong makanan ringan

utk DoorGift for kids,
we did thought of having the 30g swirly lollies
dlm 1.20 each
price wise, mmg ok sgt

tp, to me, its too big for kids below 7 to consume it
kompem diorg makan halfway, then taknak dh
terus buang
i yg tgk ni yg skt hati lak kang
nk beli yg kecik, mcm kecik sgt pulak
so tak jadi lollies

then terpikir nk bagi cotton candy
suke sgt
tp malangnye, i tak jumpe vendor from jb
and masa pon dh suntuk utk teruskan pencarian

at the end, wat goodies pack sudah
memula mama yg tak berkenan
katanye nnt byk sampah
ala...buat kt dewan kn...
bukan kite yg kemas
takpe laaaa...
at least ade variety...

so smlm, pegi kedai borong makanan kt tampoi
near angsana
dia deret kedai borong bahan kek c. siang
tp depan lagi

mmg buruk kedainye
nama kedai pon takde
tapi pilihan mmg byk
puas hati laaaa

my wonderful assistant

sibuk kira2

pilih punye pilih
siap bawak calculator
supaya tak over budget

dh kat cashier pon masih kira2..takut sgt over budget!

alhamdulillah
we got everything we wanted
and masih bwh bajet

balik, terus packing sambil tgk Chinta
9 lebih baru siap
skt pinggang ni
nasib 200 packs je...

hasilnye,

comel kan
mama kate mcm birthday party packs.

:-)