my-so-called-'to whom it may concern'

dear K,
Im sorry for the things I've done.Im terribly sorry for making things so so so much difficult for you.I jus want you to know, it was never my intentions to hurt you in anyway. No matter how many times you said all those bad words, or how hard you tried to push me away far from your sight, or how you tried to ignore me and deny my attention, i will always, and ALWAYS regard you as a part of me that i can't live without. There's nothing that can change the fact that you're apart of me and I'm glad to say you ARE. I love you too much that it hurts me so bad to see all this happen to us. How I wish I could turn back time, and live at the moment when you always cared for me.We are humans. we live with selected memories. we can choose to remember the good fond ones, or the haunting ones.as for me, i chose to tag along the good ones with me. those memories are all I ever need to keep me standing, tall(short for me).and i really missed those times we used to share together K....I really do.
Just so you know, i did try to tell you something this morning, something that i need to share with someone badly, someone that i trust, and i chose you! why? because there's no way i can tell M bout it cos this will weaken her and thus put her in a major misery(which i totally dont want that to happen). I cant tell A because this is the last thing A needs. Its enuf that M is in such condition, I dont want A to worried bout me. I can tell G, but I want you. I need you.badly.I dont need your sympathy.I dont need anyone to have any sympathetic look when they look at me. I just wanted to tell because i need to. If ever one fine day comes and something happen to me, i want at least someone close to me, to know what actually happened, and calmly, console the rest, and explain everything about it. I know its complicated, but one day, everything will be vivid. but still, i hope, i pray, that day will never come. i hope.

Truly Sorry,
Effs

my-so-called-'its at the back of my little mind'

eversince i got back from Jakarta, there's this particular song, 2 songs infact, that has been singing in my heart. and i would LOVE to share it here...so ENJOY!

Yovie & Nuno - Menjaga Hati

masih tertinggal bayanganmu
yang telah membekas di relung hatiku
hujan tanpa henti seolah bertanda
cinta tak disini lagi kau telah berpaling

REFF:
biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini ooohh
menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
engkau pergi aku takkan pergi
engkau menjauh aku takkan jauh
sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu

masih adakah cahaya rindumu
yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu
aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu
meskipun kulihat kau kini diseberang sana

Munajat Cinta-Ahmad Dhani

Malam ini, ku sendiri,
tak ada yang, menemani
seperti malam-malam
yang sudah, sudah

Hati ini, selalu sepi
tak ada yang, menghiasi
seperti cinta ini,
yang s’lalu, pupus

[Chorus:]
Tuhan kirimkanlah aku,
kekasih yang, baik hati,
yang mencintai aku, apa adanya

Mawar ini, semakin layu,
tak ada yang, memiliki,
seperti, aku ini,
semakin, pupus

note: of course, there must be some good REASON why i keep on listening to this song.. *wink*

about Jakarta

phiew.its been such a long n i mean REALLY loooong week since i got back from jakarta.only now, i found some time to update about the trip.here it goes...

well...jakarta...not much different from KL.except for a few things :

1. congested traffic - it was ridiculous.i will never ever have the guts to drive there in a million years if the traffic there remains like that.drivers there can squeeze 2 lanes road into 4 lanes!it is so jammed up.motorbikes are everywhere.there are barely any distance between the car to your front, back and even sides.while you're stuck in traffic, you can find the time to chitchat with the person in the vehicle next to yours.hahahaha...
   
2. three in one rule - during the rush hour, some central business district apply this rule, prohibiting fewer than three passengers per car.(Spore had this rule too. but now they used the ERP system to control).so when you are about to enter the 'three in one' road, you'll see many people standing by the road side, pointing their index finger(which meant 1). They are called jockey. They stand there puposely to help driver's with less than 3 passengers to enter the 'three in one' road. but of course, all this requires money! you'll have to pay them for giving them a lift!
   
3. patient drivers - well, if you've got so used to stuck in a jam almost every day, you will find yourself very immune to it. driver's in Jakarta have one thing in mind, "if i drive carefully, tolerably and patiently, i can get myself and other drivers to their destination a bit faster and safely without any scratch".
   
4. polite drivers - drivers there never get mad to each other for overtaking, they always gives way to others especially at U-turns, and the worst thing they did was only give a tiny-winy-little-short honk as a warning.compared to most malaysian driver's, if you ever piss em off, they'll give u a loooooooooooong and high pitch honk, together with a STARE or even fingers! and wind down their windows and scream some bitchy words right straight at you!
   
5. unfortunate people - we all know that there are many unfortunate people stuck in many parts of the world, not to forget Indonesia. they are willing to do anything for money. sell toys/foods/accessories at traffic lights (yeah, when you're stuck at red, they'll rush to your cars and sell their stuff).warning:though they are poor, they are smart!if you want to buy their stuff, make sure you have small change (dont expect any changes after any payment), and pay relevantly with the things you bought. if you pay less, they'll tend to scratch your car!another thing, if you ever give away some money to one 'beggar' you should be ready to expect more 'beggars' to come your way coz they'll call their friends along!
   
6. tinted screens for vehicles are advised! - unlike malaysia, drivers there are advised to tint their screens for safety concerns.i was told that there was once a driver had put his life in danger when he refused to give some money to the street-'beggar' and instead give them a face(im sure its an annoyed one) which in the end got him being chased by the street-'beggar' gang...scary huh.
   
7. way-too-persuasive-promoter - when shopping, especially at a non-classy mall, do not nego the price if you are not sure whether to buy 'em or not. only nego if you really are about to buy 'em. or else just shut the f*ck up. cos if you do so, they'll persuade you till a point when you will get so annoyed.they'll only stop once you get your 'ka-ching' out of your wallet.and if you walk out without doing so, they'll end up bitching things to your face.how rude huh?! (it is so my right whether i want to buy it or not.you dont gimme the price, im not buying it.at the end of the day, its my moolah you're crazy for!)
   
8. 'pantat' = ass - yeah..they call 'bontot' as 'pantat'. while 'bontot' means 'ekor' (eg: sop bontot)it took me quite some time to digest that cos i got so pissed off when a promoter said something bout 'pantat' to me. after a few explanations, then only i understand what they are trying to say.
   
9. things are cheap - trust me.unlike when you're malaysian, trying to shop at spore, you'll fine many things at doubled price from msia.but when you shop at indonesia, you'll find most of the things there are very cheap. almost half the price at msia. i must say the living cost over there are very cheap (only apply if you get your pay in other the Rp).
   
10. the national drink - apapun makannya, minumnya teh botol sosro.but it is just not my cup of tea!

i guess that's all bout the differences i discovered between msia(kl) and indonesia(jakarta). there, we stayed at Ucu (my aunt)'s apartment at Kuningan. Real nice place especially the location coz it's above the ambassador's mall..once we feel like we got nothing to do, we head downstairs to the mall. makasih byk2 ya ucu karna bisa bawa kami jalan2 dan pinjamkan supirmu, Pak Bambang...Pak Bambang, makasih ya karna layan karenah kami slama di sana. hahhaha...lihat.gue udah bisa ngomong nih!

we do have lotsa fun...its a short trip, manage to visit just a few places. my fav would be bandung..love the fact that there are lotsa factory outlets selling lotsa branded clothes. i know most people would think that they sell rejected clothes. but actually, its not. its brand new and branded. except that it is made locally (that explains why it is much cheaper).

overall, bout the whole trip, i must say, it had thought me to be thoughtful n grateful for what i have. the rest, i dont feel like writing bout it.just have a look at the pics k...

view from lantai 21 apartment ambassador

the minang wedding

nak amek gamba ngan arnab ni pon cost us few thousand Rp!!!

somewhere at Taman Mini

at Anchol.Best!

apapun makannya, minumnya Teh Botol Sosro. yeah right. I'll stick to Coke!

Now im quite confuse on the Jakarta spelling...anyway, the food here memang CLASS!!!murah pulak tuh!

Thanx Cu!!!!Muahx!

View at Anchol

they called this 'Lalapan'

at Kartikasari's coffee house in Bandung

you'll shop till you drop at Rumah Mode. a must go outlet in Bandung!

rows of padang food.

minang food at Minang Bistro @ Blok M

famous Bakmi

serve the best Bakso

and of coz, the place we called HOME....

im lost without my phone

huwaarghhh....right now, im starting to dislike a slide phone...since a month ago, my phone started to act weird. when i was at tioman, i realised that sometimes the earpiece didn't work out of the blue and then finally 3 days after this unexpected problem appeared for the first time the earpiece finally went dead. im still fine with it cos i can still use the loudspeaker or my earphone. Then, a week later, when i was at Jakarta, the screen started to give me a headache.it went white when i slide.i need to slide it again to make it back to normal. i got worried. when im back home, n myPerson tried to make a video call, he couldnt see me (of coz, i cant see myself either). when i checked, the videocall camera broke down.i got so frustrated and planned to get it for repair ASAP(which is yesterday)...However, yesterday's morning, when i was about to text my boss, the screen went totally white. Tried off the phone, take out the battery, and on it back...but still, it went white, and I went CRAZY!!!so after office, went to a handphone shop around my neighbourhood and try to get it fix.the man said it may be the ribbon cable has broken. that sh*t will cost me at least 80 bucks..

this morning, i try google this ribbon faulty thingie, i found out that the ribon cable actually cost only 40 bucks, but of cos, we have to pay extra for the labour cost. but 40 ringgit for a 10 minutes work???damn!i went youtube and look for the video on fixing ribbon cable.it seems easy.haih...there goes my money...i should've google it before went straight to the shop.haih......

my-so-called-'hampa'

di atas beberapa sebab yg tidak dpt dielakkn, xsempat no post anything for the past few days...anyway, there are coupla things that i used to agree/like but i dont anymore....

1. AF adalah BORING!!!!sumone please give back the sparks....i almost slept half way through watching the concerts!!!(never did before)...not to mention the diaries...im no more keen to catch the diaries every evening...
2. im very sad or even devastated to what happen to our once-little-sunshine-girl-with a winning smile, Suffiah...im shocked that she went through such a tremendous life changing moments...i guess, after all, we should just see her as a human, who always made a mistake..i hope, i wish n i pray that she will get back on the right track and buck up with the confidence and integrity.

itu sahaja..banyak lagi benda yg kurang memuaskn hati..but i shouldnt write it here or i'll put my life at stake.

:: im off for a long-but-not-so-long vacation....wont update till next week...pray for my safe journey.....daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

wuo hen lei (Im tired)

im definitely exhausted rite now...since i got back from the trip, there are lotsa things and agenda waiting impatiently for my attention...even when im about to sleep, i have to think about it...too many things to do in such a nick of time.i wish i have more time.more time to sleep especially...havent got the time to 'qada' tidur...waaaaaaakkkhhhh......now i already have to plan for the next trip...almost everyday, bile blk keje je, mama igtkn utk prepare my luggage...argghhhh....malasnyeeee....xbole ke kalo kite pegi vacation sehelai sepinggang...ok ape??ngeheheh...

eh.baru teringat...this friday is our anual dinner...it jus happen to be that they will be held at Ming Court...went there a couple of weeks ago...i did wrote sumthing bout how nice the place is...so x kesah pn kalo kene g sane again...the theme is tradisional...x prepare pape pn...dulu, back in uni days, kalo nk dekat annual dinner, mesti sibuk cari baju n accessories...beria g shopping...tp bile dh keje ni, cam syg lak duit nk beli baju semata2 utk that particular nite...so, decided to just grab wutever in the robe.kene saving skit.

well...im not sure what this entry is mainly about, but i just felt like letting sumthing out...maybe not in a proper manner..but who cares.anyhoot, now, i gotta finish preparing user guide sebelom weekend ini.haih.

my-so-called-'trip of the year with babes'

juz got back from tioman with wonderful bunch of babes..the trip was FUN!FUN!FUN! everything was marvellous, from the boat ride, the resort, the food, the hell lotsa fun xtvts, and of course the camwhoring session! 3 ari pegi, 3 ari asek gelak2...for now, masih tiada masa utk update with da pics, but for now, bole tgk kt eena's page...

to anyone yg nk g tioman, i suggest u guys take the package we took...memang best except for the rocky beach!